Absolute Random Nonsense

Majors Elham and Arezoo Barani are identical twins who, after immigrating to America to go to college, joined the Air Force. Both are dentists in the 436th Aeromedical Dental Operations Squadron here and recently were promoted to major in a dual ceremony. "It's natural to want to have the same career when you spend every moment together," said Maj. Arezoo Barani. "We wanted to become doctors since high school." "We do everything together," said Maj. Elham Barani. "We always have." The first hurdle the sisters conquered on their way to becoming doctors was the language barrier. When the Baranis came to the U.S. they knew little English. "We could say things like, 'hi, good morning, goodnight,' but nothing more," said Maj. Elham Barani. "We had no conversational skills." It took them just six months to learn English. "We watched lots of T.V., especially soap operas," said Maj. Arezoo Barani. "Actors sp...

In the summer of 1984 I went to the movies to see Gremlins. Unfortunately it was sold out and so instead we decided to watch Revenge of the Nerds. I did not understand much of the movie. For starters I didn't know what a nerd was nor was I familiar with the concept of fraternities and sororities. At the end of the movie when the black Tri-Lambs arrive I assumed they were the police. While I didn't grasp much of the story, however, I was very clear on the nudity scenes which stuck with me for years even though at each one I would get my baseball cap pulled down over my eyes until I finally removed it half way through the movie.  

Four Iranian Kurds who died trying to cross the Channel in high winds were members of one family who paid smugglers thousands of euros after two failed attempts to reach Britain, the Guardian has been told. Rasul Iran Nezhad and his wife, Shiva Mohammad Panahi, both 35, and two of their children, Anita, nine, and Armin, six, drowned as they tried to reach Britain by boat, according to a relative of the family and the Iranian-Kurdish human rights organization Hengaw. The fate of the family’s third child, 15-month-old Artin, is unknown, though French officials have said it is possible an infant also died when the vessel sank. The family was from the north-western city of Sardasht. Speaking from Sardasht, Iran Nezhad’s brother Khalil said he had last heard from the family two days ago. He said they had crossed from Iran into Turkey during the summer before proceeding through Europe to France. A representative from Hengaw said the family had attempted to enter the UK by train twice but fai...

In elementary school every day after coming home I used to watch Battle of the Planets. My favorite character was Keyop who stuttered and seemed to have a verbal tic. Years later I heard a rumor that this was done because the original character spoke using much profanity and that Keyop's excess mouth motion would cover up deleting the words. It seemed to be baseless although in the original Japanese version he spoke quite normally.  

Long before FC Bellaire was born, Arash Noamouz was building a soccer career that would take him from Iran’s top professional clubs to the international stage. Born in Tehran, Arash played for PAS Tehran, one of Iran’s most accomplished teams, earned a spot on the Iranian National Team, and represented Iran at the 1992 FIFA Futsal World Championship. In 1996, Arash became part of Major League Soccer’s inaugural season with the LA Galaxy. In the club’s very first match at the Rose Bowl, in front of more than 69,000 fans, he scored the game-winning goal and the second goal in LA Galaxy history, helping launch one of MLS’s most iconic franchises. The entire FC Bellaire World Cup experience was inspired by Arash’s lifelong love of the game and the excitement, competition, and community that make the World Cup unlike any other sporting event in the world. When you see the excitement around The ’401 this summer, know they were inspired by someone who has lived the game from the field to the ...

While in middle school a younger student came to me to see how much English I knew. He tested me with different words from his English book and then asked me for the English version of some Persian words. He asked me what پیچ was in English and a little while later, while completely butchering the pronunciation, asked me if I knew what screw screwy meant. I didn't and when he told me what it meant I was very tempted to punch him in the face for being so lame.  

On our first day of school and after lunch, much to my horror I heard the loudspeakers ask that all 4th and 5th graders perform their ablutions and prepare for prayers. I was well aware of the religious nature of the school and so confessing that I didn’t know how to pray was out of the question. I hunted Hooman down and still weary of with how much I could trust him, I only confessed to not knowing how to do ablutions. After getting over his initial shock, he advised me to just go to the faucets and start splashing water on my face and hands and hope that no one took too much notice. The prayers themselves were group prayers done silently which meant that I could simply copy whatever everyone else was doing around me. But even that would have its challenges. After we finished our first prayer, the 5th grader sitting next to me, Shahrestani, turned to me and asked, “Did you not pray?” “Of course I did,” I lied. “I just noticed you were looking around a lot so I assumed you didn’t. Tr...

An Iranian woman who drowned during an ill-fated journey across the Channel was a "very brave girl" who died trying to save her fellow passengers, a survivor from the boat has told Sky News. Mitra Mehrad went missing in August after boarding a small dinghy of 19 migrants, including a young child and a baby, seeking a new life in the UK. She is thought to be the first person to have died at sea while making the crossing from France and one of her friends has told Sky News of her brave efforts to help others on board. Ms Mehrad fell into the water with two other people during the crossing, both of whom were rescued. Mr Nadi told Sky News: "We saw with our own eyes a human being drowning. We couldn't do anything - there was nothing we could do. Fifteen men couldn't save her. "It was impossible. Some people on our dinghy fainted because they couldn't comprehend what was happening. Mitra was just being taken further away from us by the waves." Her body w...

On family guy there was a character named Mr. Penisberg. It reminded me that during freshman year in high school Bahram used to call our geometry teacher Mr. Miri a similar name. I first thought it was because he had failed him the previous year although Bahram lashing out at Vahid, Mr. Abdemanafi's younger brother, indicated that physics was the subject that made him repeat the ninth grade.