Absolute Random Nonsense

Posts

Recent posts

While in middle school a younger student came to me to see how much English I knew. He tested me with different words from his English book and then asked me for the English version of some Persian words. He asked me what پیچ was in English and a little while later, while completely butchering the pronunciation, asked me if I knew what screw screwy meant. I didn't and when he told me what it meant I was very tempted to punch him in the face for being so lame.

On our first day of school and after lunch, much to my horror I heard the loudspeakers ask that all 4th and 5th graders perform their ablutions and prepare for prayers. I was well aware of the religious nature of the school and so confessing that I didn’t know how to pray was out of the question. I hunted Hooman down and still weary of with how much I could trust him, I only confessed to not knowing how to do ablutions. After getting over his initial shock, he advised me to just go to the faucets and start splashing water on my face and hands and hope that no one took too much notice. The prayers themselves were group prayers done silently which meant that I could simply copy whatever everyone else was doing around me. But even that would have its challenges. After we finished our first prayer, the 5th grader sitting next to me, Shahrestani, turned to me and asked, “Did you not pray?” “Of course I did,” I lied. “I just noticed you were looking around a lot so I assumed you didn’t. Tr...

An Iranian woman who drowned during an ill-fated journey across the Channel was a "very brave girl" who died trying to save her fellow passengers, a survivor from the boat has told Sky News. Mitra Mehrad went missing in August after boarding a small dinghy of 19 migrants, including a young child and a baby, seeking a new life in the UK. She is thought to be the first person to have died at sea while making the crossing from France and one of her friends has told Sky News of her brave efforts to help others on board. Ms Mehrad fell into the water with two other people during the crossing, both of whom were rescued. Mr Nadi told Sky News: "We saw with our own eyes a human being drowning. We couldn't do anything - there was nothing we could do. Fifteen men couldn't save her. "It was impossible. Some people on our dinghy fainted because they couldn't comprehend what was happening. Mitra was just being taken further away from us by the waves." Her body w...

On family guy there was a character named Mr. Penisberg. It reminded me that during freshman year in high school Bahram used to call our geometry teacher Mr. Miri a similar name. I first thought it was because he had failed him the previous year although Bahram lashing out at Vahid, Mr. Abdemanafi's younger brother, indicated that physics was the subject that made him repeat the ninth grade.

In the mid 90s I frequented IRC chatrooms (although we called them channels). I sometimes used to pick the username of Gargar and after speaking normally for a while I would suddenly began repeating the word gargar non stop until I would get booted from the room. I would immediately change my username to something normal and reenter and have a normal chat with everyone who often times would still be talking about how annoying the guy they had just booted was. After a bit of chatting I would then change my username to Gargar again and begin repeatedly typing gargar until once again I was booted. This cycle would repeat many times until everyone was on guard and would immediately check the info/email address of anyone entering the chatroom.

Farid Khanlou owns Jordan Market in an area of Los Angeles called Persian Square. It's packed with Persian businesses, many of which fly the country's flag from before the 1979 Iranian revolution. In this heart of the Iranian-American community, the largest group of Iranians abroad, there are some who do not affiliate themselves with either the Democratic or Republican party. Khanlou said he would not vote for either candidate in the upcoming presidential election because he didn't like Republican candidate Donald Trump and thought Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton would only continue President Barack Obama's policies, such as his national health insurance program, also known as Obamacare. "Trump, you cannot trust his word, and Clinton, it's bad for the economy. It's bad for me because Obamacare is killing me for my health insurance. This is not right. I'm paying almost $30,000 in health insurance because of the Obamacare," Khanlou said.

“You know what Thomas, if you were really looking for money you should have sued that bastard who messed you up like this. Sued him for everything that he has. You would be living a comfortable life and you could get your face fixed.” “Oh there’s nothing wrong with my face. In fact sometimes when I think about it I think it’s pretty cool. I mean it’s always a conversation topic. Everyone always wants to know what happened. This way I always have at least one interesting story for everybody. It’s pretty awesome.” “Pretty awesome. You are insane. Look at you. You’re a freak.” Kurt continued staring at Thomas’s disfigured features. “You’re a freak.” “Well, I don’t see it that way. Hey you know, because of my face I actually was able to get this girl’s number the other day. I met her at the bus stop. After I told her about my accident we started chatting and she ended up giving m...

Anna Eskamani is an Iranian politician who has served as a Democratic member of the Florida House of Representatives since 2018, representing central portions of Orange County. She is the first Iranian elected to the Florida Legislature. Born and raised in Orlando, she’s the daughter of working-class immigrants who came to Florida from Iran in search of the American Dream. Anna went to Orange County Public Schools and the University of Central Florida. She earned dual degrees as an undergrad and graduate student, works as a nonprofit professional, and completed her PhD in Public Administration from UCF in 2024. “Norooz was a big part of my life growing up,” Eskamani stated in a news release, which included a photograph of her jumping fire last weekend in a celebration back home in Orlando. “As the first Iranian elected to any public office in Florida, it is my duty to help bridge cultural divides and share our traditions with others. What better way to do that than celeb...

When I was in elementary school I came up with some soccer trick shots in my notebook for which I had drawn diagrams for. One of them was when the ball arrived in the air and you hit in one time as it was about to hit the ground as a pass. The name of this move with the hahi strike. Some questioned me on it but ultimately the explanation was accepted. The name was actually referring to something else and I was able to disguise it by claiming some of the dots on the word written were actually hair of the player I had drawn.