Absolute Random Nonsense

“You know what Thomas, if you were really looking for money you should have sued that bastard who messed you up like this.   Sued him for everything that he has.   You would be living a comfortable life and you could get your face fixed.” “Oh there’s nothing wrong with my face.   In fact sometimes when I think about it I think it’s pretty cool.   I mean it’s always a conversation topic.   Everyone always wants to know what happened.   This way I always have at least one interesting story for everybody.   It’s pretty awesome.” “Pretty awesome.   You are insane.   Look at you.   You’re a freak.”   Kurt continued staring at Thomas’s disfigured features.   “You’re a freak.” “Well, I don’t see it that way.   Hey you know, because of my face I actually was able to get this girl’s number the other day.   I met her at the bus stop.   After I told her about my accident we started chatting and she ended up giving m...

Anna Eskamani is an Iranian politician who has served as a Democratic member of the Florida House of Representatives since 2018, representing central portions of Orange County. She is the first Iranian elected to the Florida Legislature.  Born and raised in Orlando, she’s the daughter of working-class immigrants who came to Florida from Iran in search of the American Dream. Anna went to Orange County Public Schools and the University of Central Florida. She earned dual degrees as an undergrad and graduate student, works as a nonprofit professional, and completed her PhD in Public Administration from UCF in 2024. “Norooz was a big part of my life growing up,” Eskamani stated in a news release, which included a photograph of her jumping fire last weekend in a celebration back home in Orlando. “As the first Iranian  elected to any public office in Florida, it is my duty to help bridge cultural divides and share our traditions with others. What better way to do that than celeb...

When I was in elementary school I came up with some soccer trick shots in my notebook for which I had drawn diagrams for. One of them was when the ball arrived in the air and you hit in one time as it was about to hit the ground as a pass. The name of this move with the hahi strike. Some questioned me on it but ultimately the explanation was accepted. The name was actually referring to something else and I was able to disguise it by claiming some of the dots on the word written were actually hair of the player I had drawn.  

Mona Zabihian, an Iranian American, attempted to return to Washington state from Canada late Saturday after attending a concert — a trip she said she makes several times a year with no issues. This time was different, Zabihian said, as she and dozens of others were questioned and held for hours. “We went inside, we saw a bunch of other Iranians, pregnant woman, children. I saw one of my friends from Seattle,” she told NBC News. Immigration authorities asked her about her social media accounts and the last time she had been to Iran. “They asked if I was in the military or had anything to do with guns,” she said, adding, “We were there from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. on Sunday.” Zabihian claimed that one agent said, “You guys are all U.S. citizens, you should not have to go through this.” “He mentioned that this was not a nationwide order. It was only a Washington border order,” she said. Kiara Vaziri, an Iranian American, said she and her family were also traveling back to Washington from Canada...

I have this vague memory of my teenage self in Iran where we were holding someone down and farting in their face. I think I am either confusing that with a Howard Stern bit or with a different incident where someone was trying to annoy me and as such kept screaming in my face and as they stood nose to nose with me with their mouth wide open as they screamed, I suddenly burped and began claiming that they had eaten my burp.  

I am the proud daughter of Iranian Muslim immigrants, and I am an American patriot. Unlike my parents, I was born in the United States, and I grew up here. Like them, however, I was raised in a rich and vibrant Persian community. Yes, right in the middle of the American heartland, my parents raised my sister and me among dozens of other Iranian families. We formed a diaspora born from the ashes of the so-called Islamic Revolution, the Iran-Iraq War — and the American imperialism that helped incite both. Like my parents, many of my adoptive Iranian-American aunties and uncles in Dayton were physicians, products of the brain drain that swept Iran after the revolution and the war. They spent decades living and working in Ohio, where America benefited from the top-notch medical care they provided, and where, in turn, they benefited from the freedoms and opportunities that America provided. Growing up, I remember gleefully heading toward Wright-Patterson Air Force Base on the Fourth of July...

One time as I stood by a river I imagined myself with a yellow shirt. In this vision I pictured myself committing mass murder. I then realized that I actually did have a yellow shirt. As such I decided that I would commit mass murder. Ultimately I didn't follow through with this plan.  

Ryan Bolourchi is an economics student turned clothing and jewelry designer who began creating his designs by drawing inspiration from his Iranian roots.  "I was just out there working on designs all day, just drawing instead of studying," Bolourchi said.  He turned those sketches into Xodafez, a jewelry and clothing line celebrating the culture and history of pre-Islamic Iran.  "What I really like about Iranian history, it's kind of like the patterns on a Persian rug — it's all interconnected," he said. "The mythology and the history, the legends and the truth. And it's kind of one beautiful, but also sad love story of Iranian people's resilience." Bolourchi said that every single design means something special and celebrates the heritage, poetry and Zoroastrianism that spanned over five empires, a far cry from the turmoil that has embroiled his parents' homeland since before he was even born.  "They had armored horses and sold ca...

In either freshman or sophomore year in high school there was a poem in our Persian literature book that Mr. Farrokhi explained its meaning. Looking at it I didn't think it needed any explanation as it was rather self explanatory. The tone was rather angry and I was surprised that such a poem was in our book. The poem read "you are a donkey that farts or a cow that poops." Thinking back I feel that I am remembering the poem wrong.