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Once in elementary school I was on the phone with my friend and he asked me if I wanted to hear something and I said yes. He proceeded to bang on what sounded like a gong. I then asked him if he wanted to hear something. When he said yes I made a farting sound with my mouth.  
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Dr. Leila Abbasi has been terminated from her position at a New York hospital after sharing posts in support of Hamas. The decision follows growing concerns over professionals expressing controversial political views in sensitive workplaces. Leila Abbasi, a 46-year-old doctor, expressed in a post her support for Hamas and Hezbollah resistance groups, describing the Israeli army as a plague responsible for killing infants in Gaza.  
If you clean a vacuum cleaner, aren't you technically the vacuum cleaner? 
Federal immigration agents have detained a University of Alabama doctoral student who is a citizen of Iran, according to the school and ICE records. Alireza Doroudi, a doctoral student from Iran studying mechanical engineering, is currently being held in a county jail, awaiting transfer to an immigration facility, his attorney, David Rozas, confirmed to ABC News. A spokesperson for the Pickens County Jail in Alabama confirmed to ABC News that an Alireza Doroudi has been in their custody since Tuesday and is being held at the behest of ICE. Doroudi was taken into custody by ICE at 3 a.m. Thursday at his home, his attorney said. The Department of Homeland Security said Doroudi’s student visa was revoked and he was subsequently arrested because he "posed significant national security concerns." No federal charges have been filed against Doroudi, according to a search of federal court records. Rozas also told ABC News that the student has "not been arrested for an...
After all, he didn’t want to look like a wimp.   Not taking his eyes of Janina’s, he slowly moved his head forward and noticed the exact same response from her.   So the barrier had been broken and he just needed to go with the flow, he comforted himself.   His eyes began to close and he put his full faith in his sense of feel.   Sure enough it didn’t fail him as before long he felt Janina’s wet lips pressing against his.   He tried to remember when he was last so close to a girl, but concentration at this point seemed impossible.   He was absolutely positive though that it hadn’t been during his stay in Germany.   For a split second fear overcame him, the fear of not doing it right, not by the customized German standards that Janina was accustomed to.   Perhaps his celibacy during this past semester had taken its toll on him and now he was setting a bad example for all Americans.   But then again he didn’t hear Janina complaining, so it was ...
Rumeysa Ozturk, who is in the United States on a non-immigrant F-1 visa for international students, was meeting with friends to break her Ramadan fast when she was detained near her home in Somerville, attorney Mahsa Khanbabai said in a statement to The Independent. “We are unaware of her whereabouts and have not been able to contact her,” she said. Ozturk’s attorney has filed a petition of habeas corpus challenging her arrest and detention. Massachusetts District Judge Indira Talwani is giving federal officials until Friday to respond to the complaint, and Ozturk cannot be moved outside the state without at least 48 hours of advance notice to the court, according to Talwani’s order.
If you told a joke that was super funny and someone laughed so hard that they died could you be charged with manslaughter? 
James Franco and longtime girlfriend Isabel Pakzad have stepped out for a glitzy date night while celebrating Saturday Night Live’s 50th anniversary special. Franco, 46, and Pakzad, an actress and director, hit the red carpet at New York’s Rockefeller Center on Sunday, February 16, smiling for the cameras as they stood arm-in-arm. The Pineapple Express actor looked sharp in a black tuxedo while Pakzad, 29, opted for a grey tailored two-piece embellished with intricate florals. The couple, who reportedly began dating in November 2017, are rarely spotted on the red carpet, however, did attend the 2024 Cannes Film Festival together in May last year to celebrate the premiere of Kinds of Kindness starring Emma Stone, Margaret Qualley, Willem Dafoe, Joe Alwyn and Jesse Plemons.  
We finally had everything packed and were about to make the final move. That night after the moving vans transported our furniture to our new house, we came back for one final cleanup. As we stood at our doorway, Alireza came to us to bid us farewell. “On one hand we’re very happy for you to finally be done with these chaotic past few weeks,” he started. “But on the other hand we’re sad to be losing a good neighbor like you.” Before my mom could respond he added, “But also we’re happy for you to have finally been saved from horrible neighbors like us.” Alireza always had a way with his words.  
Every time I go to lift weights I think about mitochondria, the power house of the cell, and I get my new personal best. Shakespeare totally gave me the vocabulary I need to understand all the mid century poems I see in the daily news. Whenever my car breaks down and I need a repair I just remember how oxidation equations help me solve internal combustion chemistry and voila, AAA isn’t needed. Pythagorean's theorem and quadratic formulas are useful in preparing taxes and developing a tax strategy. Don’t even get me started on what mitosis has done for my sex life.