Absolute Random Nonsense

Can someone play the Yakety Sax song as I very quickly run away from a group of people who are chasing me?   

I bought an antique oil lamp a few weeks ago and for the first time today I started rubbing it to see if a genie would come out. Instead of a genie a zebra stepped out of it and started eating my furniture.   

Where can I buy a moderately priced answering machine?   

I'm considering legally adding lil to the beginning of my name.   

Does anyone have any pics of the interior of Sharif University that they have personally taken that they can share? Edit: Never mind. I don't know what I was thinking asking this question here.

I'm in Walmart. They're playing The Reflex. Isn't that bizarre? It was like finding treasure in the dark.  

 When I was 8 I used to call a fart "giyooz". I sometimes still do.   

When I was still in school I had two roommates. One week one of them (we'll call him Rod) attended a fancy auction in New York where he bid on various high-priced tchotchkes such as a golden snow globe, a pocket watch and a gumball machine. The auction itself was bustling and chaotic while in contrast my roommate was (and is) a vortex of elegance and calm composure. As it turned out his friend actually once owned that snow globe or perhaps one identical to it. He later returned to our stark white apartment, adrift in a sea of melancholia, and sat himself down on the floor. Meanwhile, my other roommate (we'll call him Thomas), in spite of being exhausted and visibly pale, visited a young girl who was having a birthday and helped her blow out the candles on the birthday cake. The birthday girl had an injured leg and left the apartment with Thomas but not before Thomas got hopelessly caught in a revolving door. The girl later tossed aside her crutches and hopped her...

Today I saw this lady walking down the street all curves and thrust and smooth thighs and first class long legs. She was hotter than a rocket on the 4th of July. She wore a red dress.   

At some point Ardi and Kamyar had gotten their hands on a January 4, 1990 edition of the German music magazine Bravo. Although the magazine was in German, we had gone through it many times, trying to translate whatever we could. The section that interested us most was a two-page spread ranking of men and women’s artists. We were familiar with some of the individuals but most of them were unknown to us. For those that we knew amongst the men Michael Jackson and Phil Collins took third and sixth place respectively. Of the women Sandra and Madonna occupied the top two spots with Tina Turner coming in at fifth place and Nena at ninth place. As a result of this top-ten ranking we gradually became familiar with more individuals on the list such as Jason Donovan (first place) and Prince (ninth place) for the men and Kylie Minogue (third place), Paula Abdul (sixth place) and Martika (tenth place) for the women. Kamyar would later comment how he actually had come to hate Prince as...

I miss the days when Sandra ruled the world.  

After more than 20 years of research I have concluded what we called Madonna's 1991 album was in fact a combination of Candi and the Backbeat's 1990 album (called the World Keeps on Turning) and Alisha's 1990 album (called Bounce Back). See the tracklistings below. The songs included on the album we had are in bold/red. World Keeps On Turning: 1."The World Just Keeps On Turning" 2."Friends Forever" 3."What's In A Love" 4."Dream Train" 5."Good Together" 6."Time For A New Life" 7."Getting Closer" 8."Someone Like You" 9."Find Love (Don't You Wanna)" 10."Saving All The Love" Bounce Back: 1."Wrong Number" (3:50) 2."Everything You Do" (4:26) 3."You've Really Gotten to Me" (4:28) 4."Love Will Talk" (3:58) 5."(Ain't No) Better Love" (4:04) 6."Bounce Back" (3:53) 7."Rescue Me" (3:...

My classmate in Sharif University and the #1 ranked student in the 1368 university entrance exams in Iran.

I sometimes enjoy getting up and dancing in restaurants when no music is playing.   

During the 1994 World Cup a hotline was set up to give info for the tournament. The number was 1-800-386-4694. Who can figure out why they chose this specific phone number?   

In the Thor movie the Hulk was wearing a Duran Duran/Rio shirt.   

In 1986 I remember watching Jose Luis Brown scoring the first goal in the 1986 World Cup Final for Argentina against West Germany. In 2000 I remember Junior Agogo coming to MLS and there being debate about whether he should take up a full international spot or a junior international spot. I now learned that both of them have died.   

I need help. An invisible man is sleeping in my bed.

When I was twelve, thirteen, I used to have to chaperone my sister, who was four years older, to an ice rink near Vanak Square. There was a girl there with long blond hair whose name was Soghra. I had a big crush on her though I didn't stand a chance. My sister used to go and do what she wanted when we got to the skating rink and I would spend the afternoon swooning over this girl Soghra. A few years later, when I was sixteen, I had my first relationship with a girl called Kobra. It had just started to cool off a bit when I discovered that the blonde girl from Vanak Square had moved in just around the corner from my school. She had moved in right next to where I used to stand and wait for my next-door neighbor, who used to give me a lift home from school. And one day I saw her walk down the path next to me and I thought – now where did SHE come from? She didn't know it was me. It was a few years later and I looked a lot different. Then we played a soccer match with...

My private life is scandalized by the public. All the liggers in my way with their cute tricks are getting over just by dropping my name.

I can't stand another howling day inside of this empty skin. 

I don't care what people think. It's just because I like the skin I'm in.   

In the summer of 1986 in English summer classes we had read that Willy the Wisp was smuggling something but we couldn't figure out what it was. It was Fiorta cars. Schwinn went tо sее Haledjian in his hotel room and asked him if he had heard of а man named Eugene W. McNally. "Ah, yes, Willie the Wisp!" answered Haledjian. "Не smuggled diamonds from the U.S. into Canada for years, and the border guards never caught him. Неs а very clever criminal." "Тhat’s the man," replied Schwinn. Не's tricking us again, but I don't understand how. Six months ago he appeared at the border of our country driving а new black Fiorta, а foreign sports car that costs $ 60,000. We’ve heard all about Willie, so of course we looked everywhere in that car. Nothing. But each of his three suitcases had а false bottom like smugglers use to hide things. "Under the false bottom were three bottles — one filled with bits of coloured glass, one with sugar, an...

In 1989 Katayoun Falakshahi ranked #1 in Iran's college entrance exam while Hirad Samavati ranked second. Both attended Sharif University. Both are now living in the US.   

I went to Sharif University. I can drive a stick shift car. I attended a World Cup. I am awesome in many different ways.  

When I was a kid I used to watch Magic Mongo on Saturday mornings. I liked the episode that the Ace thought he was Donald and Donald thought he was the Ace. Watching it now I realize how lame it is. Also I remembered this show because of a mango in our refrigerator.

Today I stood at the kitchen sink. My radio played songs like "Tainted Love" and "Love Is Strange". As I listened I cried sudden tears.