Absolute Random Nonsense

"You might find if you are a musician that your career will last longer than if you are a footballer." - advice given to Andy Taylor by his father.

Frankie says relax.   

Yannick Stopyra's gradual downfall is one of soccer's truly tragic times. 

Has anyone ever extracted lint from their belly button, rubbed it under their arm pits and then eaten it?   

In the middle of sexual intercourse has anyone ever shouted out "Jaleel White"?   

I've been to Garden of Allah and back.     

Today for breakfast I had eggs, bacon, grits and sausage.  

The first time I put ketchup on my spaghetti at work my coworkers looked at me like I had 3 heads.   

In the 70s I wrote two theme songs for The Muppet Show and The Pink Panther Show. Neither one was used though. It was partially due to them not being that good. Also partially because I never submitted them anywhere.

I was watching the 1998 comedy Ride. One of the actors was wearing an original 1996 Kansas City Wiz jersey. Another one (or maybe it's the same guy) at the end of the movie was wearing the goalkeeper jersey many of the keepers in the 1994 wore.   

Has anyone ever flown with Stromboli Air?   

Back in 2016 on my way to work I was listening to a report on NPR about a guy who had a stroke and they were talking to a doctor about it. Her first name sounded Iranian although I didn't catch her last name. When they finally referred to her again I realized that not only did I know her, but I had dated her on Oct. 1, 2003, right after the quarterfinal games of the 2003 women's World Cup between Sweden and Brazil and then the US and Norway. We went to a Thai restaurant, she showed me around Boston and we had ice cream before I drove back to Connecticut.   

Has anyone ever potatoed their boob?   

Yesterday when I got home my wife gave me a glass of water. I drank it and then without saying a word she gave me another glass of water. I drank it and placed the empty glass on the counter and then without saying a word she gave me another glass of water. I drank it and sat down on the couch and then without saying a word she gave me another glass of water. I drank it and turned on the TV and then without saying a word she gave me another glass of water. I drank it and changed the channel and then without saying a word she gave me another glass of water. I drank it and indicated I was no longer thirsty and then without saying a word she gave me another glass of water. I drank it and said no more water and then without saying a word she gave me another glass of water. I drank it and screamed put your listening ears on and then without saying a word she gave me another glass of water. I drank it and said why so much water and then without saying a word she gave me another...

Mark Hamill sold for $80,000.   

It's been over 30 years since sextress has been a thing.   

Fergie and Iggy Azalea have both peed their pants in public.   

The fox in the movie Zootopia is the same one who was Robin Hood that they showed every year on 13 bedar.  

In January of 2016 certain files on my flash drive crapped out on me. One of them was my memoirs. The last backup I had done for it was around September and so I would have lost around 30 pages. While I probably would have eventually rewritten those pages but luckily I managed to restore that file (but not all of the other ones) by downloading WordRepair and also doing some other weird things that I looked up online and can't quite remember.

Who said this? Both questions and answers are from the same guy as he was answering his own questions. Do you know how many games we won before the World Cup? Zero! Do you know how many times I had fielded the lineup that faced Scotland? Zero!   

Ahmed where is my automobile?

Does anyone know where can I download the song "I wanna have intercourse with you"?   

Do any of you guys ever imagine yourself dancing the tango in a pool of diarrhea?  

As our semester began winding down, so did the Qods League, Iran’s national soccer league. While most people, especially in Tehran, paid more attention to each province’s domestic league, however, the Qods League was of more importance as the winner of it would advance to the Asian Club Championship. The competition was held in two groups of 11 with the top two teams from each group advancing to the semifinals. Much like Tehran’s Club Championship, the Qods League was also dominated by Esteghlal and Persepolis with each of them topping their respective group. Darayi from Tehran and Malavan from Port Anzali completed the semifinal lineup. In the first leg of one semifinal, Persepolis defeated its fellow Tehran team Darayi with a score of 2-0. Darayi had been a competitive team in the previous years, finishing runner-up in Tehran’s Club Championship the past two seasons, although now they were merely a shadow of their former self. Their presence in the semifinals was more ...

Does anyone know what University sends more university PhD candidates to Stanford then any other foreign university?   

Do you love your monkey or do you love me?   

The word "Yahoo" had previously been trademarked for barbecue sauce, knives (by EBSCO Industries ) and human propelled watercraft (by Old Town Canoe Co. ). Therefore, in order to get control of the trademark, they added the exclamation mark to the name. However, the exclamation mark is often incorrectly omitted when referring to Yahoo!.    

I don't like country and western. I don't like rock music, I don't like rockabilly or rock and roll particularly. I don't like much, really, do I? But what I do like, I love passionately.   

All of the minions have male names. How do they reproduce?   

When I was 17 I asked and went out with Jamak who was the most talked about girl on Simin Street (along with her younger sister). It's only looking back at it after this many years that I realize what a notable coup it was.