Absolute Random Nonsense

The only thing worse than having the flu is having the flu and Windows 8.   

Mrs. Smith's birthday was right around the corner but with Mr. Smith losing his job money was tight. Everyone wanted to buy a perfect gift for her but with her being the only breadwinner they couldn't ask her for money to buy her own present. The family debated what to do and finally arrived at a solution. On the morning of her birthday, everyone gathered around her bed as she woke up. They passed a shoebox forward that was decorated with drawings and flashy colors. Mrs. Smith opened the shoebox and peered inside. Multiple strips of paper were there and one by one she picked them up and began reading them. "When times are good and when they’re bad, you’re the best wife I could ever have. From our first date, I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life with you. Glad to know I was right. When you blow out your candles and make wishes, I hope that they all come true. Happy birthday, sweetheart. -John" "Mothers are the greatest gift that anyo...

At 12:00 PM on Saturday, October 28, 2023, in honor of Cyrus the Great Day, you are invited to our unveiling of a monumental statue of Cyrus the Great at the Millennium Gate dedicated to liberty, justice and peace. Cyrus the Great, founder of the Achaemenid empire, upon liberating Babylon, freed the slaves, established racial equality and rights for women, declared that all people had the right to choose their own religion and returned their various gods to their shrines. He also helped the Jews build The Second Temple. According to the Book of Isaiah, Cyrus was anointed by God as a messiah for these actions, the only non-Jewish figure to be revered in this capacity. Iranian and Jewish peoples share an ancient bond of friendship that modern Islamic fanaticism has tried (and failed) to destroy. Remembering the past is a powerful perspective for shaping the future; one where diverse peoples and cultures live together in freedom and harmony.  Cyrus the Great’s decrees...

Sometimes when I look back at my life I wonder how am I not dead.   

Has anyone ever witnessed someone in Isfahan pulling out a long strand of hair from their soda bottle after taking a few gulps of it?

Some time ago I went into a chatroom with a name that you couldn't tell if it was male or female. Some guy messaged me and said he wanted to get naked on tinychat. So while I stalled him I messaged every other guy who had messaged me (about 10 people) and gave them the url and told them to come to the room but only if they would be naked on cam. Everytime someone asked which one am I in the chat I gave someone else's name that I knew I had sent there and told them I would be getting naked shortly and that I was having computer problems. Of course I never went in myself but within minutes they all started messaging me and swearing at me about the naked sausagefest I had gotten them involved in.   

When I was in the 4th grade I was torn between picking a book from the cat and mouse series. It was a choice between "The Cat and Mouse who Shared a House" and "The Cat and Mouse who smelled their Poop". I picked the first one but looking back I wish I had picked the second one.

Peggah Ghoreishi was on Jeopardy!. She was wearing a Faravahar.   

Sometimes when I hear a song on the radio I wonder whether when recording the song the singer actually thought the song was good.   

Cyrus Keshmiri was on the People's Court suing a jeweller for swapping out the chain on his necklace that said خدا.   

“I had a parent complain because I played a CD of classical Persian flute music one day in class. The class was ‘World Languages and Cultures’ and I played a different CD from around the world every day as they came into class. They said I was ‘sympathising with terrorists’.” - anonymous teacher  

Sobhan Sanaee was on Shark Tank. He got a deal.   

In the late 90s AOL chat rooms were very popular so I kept making usernames with names that could be either a guy or girl like Chris, Pat, Drew, etc. Then I would go into a teenage chatroom and make some comment where all the guys would think I'm a girl (like OMG Tom Cruise was so awesome in his new movie!!) and then all the guys would be asking me for my pic and I would send them a pic of a sibil koloft guy (not my own pic) and when they complained I'd say well that's my pic and you asked for it. Another thing I would do was type "the first person to type 123 20 separate times gets my pic". Some of them would start typing 123 as fast as they could and not realizing that immediately afterwards I had typed "if you are gay type 123".  

Who remembers Mohammed Reza Taheri-Azar?   

Mercedes Nazarian, 29, a political independent and bartender from Savannah, Georgia, said her support for Trump hadn’t been shaken. “I think he’s doing the best to his ability,” she said in a follow-up interview. “I believe it’s out of his control at this point. I mean, nobody can control a virus.”   

At Gettysburg, a small school with about 2,500 students, 95 rapes were reported to campus security from 2013 to 2019 — but only 10 non-child rape cases were prosecuted in the entire county during that period, according to school data and county court records. And that discourages students like Katayoun Amir-Aslani, who quietly left Gettysburg after her own sexual assault in the spring of 2014, from coming forward. She met Keeler the night she was assaulted. Then few months later, she was raped at Gettysburg by an acquaintance, she said. She did not file a report. She did not get a rape kit. Instead, she quietly left school after that spring. “I didn’t have any witnesses, and after the experience I had … with Shannon, and nothing happened with her, I just (thought), ‘Well, what’s the point of me going through all of this for nothing?’” said the 26-year-old New Yorker. “So I just didn’t really tell anyone.’”   

During the late 90s does anyone remember going into AOL chat rooms and there being a guy there who spoke really weird and asked stupid questions until he was kicked out of the chat room? For example while all the guys would just say "pic?" to girls, instead he would ask them "For my viewing pleasure may you kindly send me an email with an attachment containing your scanned photograph?"   

Bahar Shirkhanloo of Iran completed a master’s degree in architecture two years ago and used the Optional Practical Training program to get a job at a firm in Chicago, where she is part of a team that designs high-rise residential buildings. Early this year, the firm decided to sponsor her for a green card. But she was abruptly terminated in early April when projects came to a standstill, leaving her with 60 days, under the terms of the program, to find a new job. “I’m applying every day, everywhere in the U.S. you can think of,” said Shirkhanloo, 28. Most often, she hears the same thing: “They are interested, but, for now, there’s a hiring freeze.”  

LOL so clueless. I would imagine her husband didn't teach her Persian. Keri Shahidi states the name Yara means "Someone who is close to your heart", the name Sayeed means "Blessing", and Ehsan means "To act as though God is watching".

Oscar Ruggeri's son played in the US (NPSL). 

Neda was on Wheel of Fortune. Her husband was Kambiz and their kids were Sara, Darya and Kamran. She won $22,000+.   

Can anyone teach me to dance to the song "Is you are or is you ain't my baby"?

Well come to trimming.   

Fleeing violence in Mexico, one Honduran family decided to cross into the U.S. illegally last month and turn themselves over to Border Patrol agents in the desert near San Diego. The father and son were immediately returned to the border and told to walk back to Tijuana, but the mother, who was pregnant, was in pain. So Border Patrol agents took her to a nearby hospital, where she gave birth. Two days later, the mother was given a choice: Go back to Mexico with or without her newborn, who is a U.S. citizen by birthright. "That's not a choice. That's not a legitimate choice," said Mitra Ebadolahi, an attorney with the ACLU of San Diego and Imperial Counties. She said the mother and the baby returned to Mexico.   

While passing what is claimed to be the oldest pub in England, a guy in a wheelchair sitting under an umbrella and playing music woke me up before I went.   

Shahrzad Fooladi aka Snoh Aalegra was on NPR.

Does anyone know where I can buy Islamic oranges?

"I was sitting in the dressing room one day when a female instructor walked in and told me to take off my trousers to prove that I was a woman. I told her, 'All right, but only if you do the same.' After that, they stopped bothering me." - Maribel Domínguez

I have found a great way to introduce myself at corporate settings. Anytime in such gatherings if someone asks me what my name is I'm gonna start singing: You know I'm Sadr, I'm Sadr, you know it, you know I'm Sadr, I'm Sadr, you know it, you know, and the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again who's Sadr.   

Standing in front of my bathroom mirror, I begin my nightly ritual: counting the hair between my eyebrows. I run my index finger up and down, back and forth — an old, anxious tick. The skin used to feel so soft. Fuzzy, like a caterpillar. Now the gap feels sparse, coarse. My head urges me to reach for the tweezers. But another, quieter voice whispers a reminder. That my brows will never look, never feel the same again. Before entering elementary school, I remember accepting my facial hair at face value. It was a fact of life: The sun rose and set, the subway was forever delayed, and I had strands of hair sprouting all over my face. My peers were eventually the ones to point out that my facial hair did not fit the standard of American beauty, and as a first generation Middle Eastern New Yorker, neither did I. I was called names. At first, werewolf or gorilla. But as I grew older, I was likened to a terrorist. By middle school, I had a mustache thicker than that of my male p...

Dr. Neda Shamie is on a Restasis commercial.  

"Everyone tells me I should be afraid of you. But I'm not."  

Khasha Toloui was on Shark Tank. I'm guessing his actual name is Khashayar. He got a deal.