Absolute Random Nonsense

Please let me know my next mission. You know who you are.   

 Yasmin Parvaneh is the perfect cross between Iran and Duran Duran.

One night at 3:00am a freaking coyote started howling outside our bedroom window.   

Dr. Saman Faramarzi, also known as Dr. Sam, is the Founder of SAFA Life and Wellness. Dr. Sam completed her Naturopathic Medical training at Bastyr University, in Washington State. Before she attended medical school, she completed her undergraduate degree in Nutrition Sciences and practiced as a weight loss expert.   While studying the intricacies of the physiology of the body in Medical School, she became fascinated with the mind-body connection. She had mastered facilitating healing in the body, and wanted to learn more about the mind. "Some of the signs you might not be getting enough pre/probiotics in your diet include experiencing gas, bloating, constipation or diarrhea," says Dr. Sam. "Also, gut issues don't always manifest as direct gastrointestinal symptoms, sometimes they show up as headaches, acne and joint pain and if ignored for long enough can turn into chronic illnesses."

Would anyone like to see a pic of some very chunky vomit at the side of a car following a wedding I went to?   

The notorious Beverly Hills mansion where the Menendez brothers brutally murdered their parents has new owners, and the sale has only stoked the flames of public fascination surrounding the infamous case. Seven months after the home was sold for a staggering $17 million, the new owners have been revealed as the wealthy Lahijani family, a prominent Iranian clan with significant investments in Los Angeles real estate.  

When I was in my 30s I placed an add in the personals that read: Thirty something graduate - green eyes -  candlelit dinner - sense of humor - Extrovert  - Where are you? Let's start as friends - Seeking soul mate - long-term relationship - Choose life - New age man - shake me up, wild girl - long term relationship - Say, are you the one?  

“My parents came to the United States in 1979.” Amy Sarabi tells us. “They landed in Texas where they attended Graduate School. I spent the majority of my childhood growing up in Plano, Texas: I have an older brother, Shahin and an older sister Shiva.” The 26 year-old designer’s fascination with fashion emerged early in life: “I was always buying garments and turning them into something else, I have a vivid memory of myself standing in front of my mother’s mirror at about 6 years old putting a nightgown on the wrong way intentionally and wearing it as a little jacket.” Already placing in the “Best 3” category on her Project Runway scorecard for her unconventional approach to simplicity while remaining authentic to the texture, look, and earthy color pallete of the delicious burlap creation she sent down the runway on  Episode 2: The Fashion Farm , Amy’s had a stellar start on Project Runway. And although she may not have enough time to “make thi...

The woman who allegedly opened fire at YouTube’s headquarters in a suburb of San Francisco, injuring three before killing herself, was apparently furious with the video website because it had stopped paying her for her clips. Police in California named the shooter as Nasim Najafi Aghdam. Aghdam was “upset with the policies and practices of YouTube”, San Bruno police chief Ed Barberini said at a press conference on Wednesday. “This appears to be the motive for this incident.” No evidence had been found linking her to any individuals at the company where she allegedly opened fire on Tuesday, he said. Police gave her age as 39 but her brother said she would have turned 38 on Wednesday. Two of the three shooting victims from the incident were released from the Zuckerberg San Francisco general hospital on Tuesday night. A third, a male in his 30s, is currently in “serious condition”, a hospital spokeswoman said Wednesday morning. A fourth victim had been injured, but not shot,...

Ali Maleki was in a commercial for trucking technology called Traxen.  

Many years ago my female roommate (who I suspect was on Xanax) would stay out all night and when she would return in the morning her makeup would be full of cracks.  

IT consultant Nima Momeni fatally stabbed CashApp founder Bob Lee through the heart after the pair fought about the suspect’s sister  — and whether they were doing “anything inappropriate,” new court documents released Friday allege. Police claim that before Lee was murdered on the streets of San Francisco in the early hours of April 4, Momeni and the slain tech entrepreneur had talked on the phone about his sister , Khazar Elyassnia, who was married to someone else. An unnamed witness told police that Momeni grilled Lee about his sister, asking if Elyassnia, who is married to a prominent plastic surgeon, was “doing drugs or anything inappropriate.”  Lee, 43, assured his alleged murderer that nothing out of bounds had happened. Police didn’t elaborate on the relationship Lee had with Elyassnia, who was not named in the court documents. The witness told police it was unclear to them if Lee and Elyassnia had an “in...

On 9/1/11 I was very moved.  

I attended Nikan School from grade 5 to 8. On average I was being expelled from there about once a week which was completely fine with me as I wanted to get out of there although each time my dad managed to convince them to give me another chance. I finally managed to get out at the end of 8th grade when they gave us a surprise admittance exam for high school and I intentionally bombed it just so they wouldn't accept me. I ranked 30th out of 35 students. I'm not sure how the hell 5 students ranked worse than me unless they were doing the same thing as me.   

Gary Lineker pooped his pants during the game versus Ireland in the 1990 World Cup.   

There was this guy in Iran named Haji Chic. I wonder what happened to his bird that he used to bring with him on bus rides. It was so adorable.

Some days in high school I would run from school to my dad's office faster than the speed of love.

A Toronto restaurant owner is speaking out after her downtown business was vandalized hours after the anniversary of the Oct. 7 Hamas-led attack on Israel, and police say their hate crime unit is aware. Banu, an Iranian restaurant on Queen Street W. near Bathurst Street, had its front window smashed and its interior damaged on Tuesday. The restaurant, which has been in the area for more than 19 years, is co-owned by Samira Mohyeddin, a former CBC Radio journalist. On its website, the restaurant says it serves the "very best of Iranian culture, cocktails, and cuisine." Toronto police say they are investigating, but have not deemed the incident a hate crime. Asked why, police spokesperson Stephanie Sayer told CBC News "there would need to be evidence that the crime was motivated in whole or in part by the offender's (real or perceived) bias, prejudice or hate against an identifiable group. At this time, there is no evidence of that." Sec...

I just jumped almost 3 feet horizontally.   

I applied for my Iranian visa when I first arrived in Delhi, on November 21. The embassy in Delhi told me to get an authorization code from iranianvisa.com, which would be sent to the embassy, and then I'd just need to bring my passport in for the stamp. A very frustrating and drawn-out experience with iranianvisa.com left me $300 poorer, and visa-less on the 11th of December, when my flight left for Iran. This was not good. New Zealand citizens are granted Visa-On-Arrival privileges, but I'd read some horror stories of tourists in my situation being deported. I have no idea how deportation works, but I didn't have the money to pay for that. The main thing that I needed at the border was proof of an ongoing ticket. I didn't have the money for that either. I was hoping to catch the train into Turkey after my month in Iran. My sister came up with the brilliant idea of buying a 100% refundable ticket, getting into the country with that ticket as proof of ...

Well this must have been awkward. Or maybe not.

A 38-year-old man from Texas broke into a Redmond home early Friday morning and killed the husband and wife living inside . The man, identified as Ramin Khodakaramrezaei by Redmond police, was found dead inside the home with an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound when officers arrived at the scene around 1:45 a.m. Friday. According to the Redmond Police Department (RPD), officers responded to the 16700 block of Northeast 89th Street for a report of shots fired inside a home. Police said the woman’s mom was staying at the home with the couple and was able to escape and call 911 after Khodakaramrezaei broke into the home through a window. Officers found the 35-year-old husband lying on the floor when they arrived. The 33-year-old wife and Khodakaramrezaei were both found dead inside the home . Redmond police later confirmed the husband was identified as Mohammad Milad Naseri and his wife as Zohreh Sadeghi. Scott Hale, who lives behind the couple's home, said it was "bl...

One thing we liked to do in Iran was either call people using 2 phones or just drive around and pretend we are Arabs. We would speak in broken Arabic based on what we knew from high school and the rest we would use regular Persian words and just add "al" to the beginning of them. If we did the phone thing we would pretend that it was a crossed line and that they were listening in on our private conversation. Once the guy said something to us, one of would yell "قف قف الخط روی خط". Then we would start babbling to the guy who I'm sure would realize it was all fake but would stay on the line as he found it amusing. With the car thing we would find a kid by himself and as we approached him yell out the window "قف قف" Then we would go up to him and ask for directions like "الخیابان الولنجک الکجاست؟" Some kids would get really nervous and try to give us directions, others would see through it and mess with us. One time after we ha...

My first Messi sighting was on August 12, 2006 at Giants Stadium. Barcelona defeated the New York Red Bulls 4-1 with Messi coming on as a sub and scoring the third goal.

The 2024 movie "Incoming" had a pair of Iranian brothers in it named Kayvan and Dana. They actors were actually Iranian and their real names were Kayvan and Bardia.

Does anyone have a fast cure for pooping so hard that it causes half of your large intestine to come out of your ass? If so, please run it by me ASAP.   

On November 8, 2002, 33-year-old Sheila Davalloo visited the Stamford, CT, condo of coworker Anna Lisa Raymundo and fatally stabbed the 32-year old. Davalloo reportedly stabbed Raymundo multiple times in the chest, neck, and face.   Davalloo and Raymundo had worked together at Purdue Pharma alongside Nelson Sessler, a 33-year-old research scientist who had been romantically involved with both women; however, Sessler ended his relationship with Davalloo in order to pursue a more serious relationship with Raymundo. Davalloo, who was allegedly obsessed with Sessler, murdered Raymundo in hopes of rekindling her romance with Sessler.

Everyone please post your ATM PIN numbers and also scan a copy of your ATM card and post it here so we can see who has the most unusual number.   

Amir Rezvani didn't clean his room when he moved out of his place so Judge Judy made him pay $200+ to the landlord.