Absolute Random Nonsense

One time when I was sitting on our wall I saw Morad coming back home from buying bread. He spotted me and walked towards me with one hand behind his back. He then made a weird face and produced his hand from behind him with a long brown object in it. As I tried to make sense of what had just happened he took a bite of out of the brown object that made both of us laugh. It made it clear that this wasn't what I somewhat assumed at first and to further emphasize it Morad showed me the missing perimeter around the fresh bread that he had just purchased.  

Shahs of Sunset is back kinda. It's under a different name and called "The Valley: Persian Style". There are a bunch of new cast members but Reza, GG and MJ are returning. I expect it to be as bad as the original. It starts in January. Yay. Although MJ hasn’t been on Bravo for a while, the drama continued when she filed for divorce from Tommy Feight. A move that shocked fans, to be sure. The two also recently agreed to a custody deal regarding their son, Shams.  While her ex, Tommy, said not everything is as it seems. He shared, “I’m a lot happier than I look. And no matter what happens between my wife and I, it’s till the dirt for me, so I’ll always protect her, and I’ll always make sure to be the best father to my son that I can be.” Reza, who was known for his outrageous outbursts, notes he’s more of a “soccer mom vibe.” Sure, Jan. He dished, “I’ve had the calm of living without cameras for a long time, and I’ve settled into much more of a suburban soccer mom vibe, wit...

One time when we were preteens a friend and I decided to kill time by acting out funny plays for each other. I chose to act out a short story we had read in Arabic class where a dim witted guy tries to get rid of a bee that was bothering him and after a number of failed attempts hits himself in the head with a hammer when the bee sits on it. My friend acted out an equally lame scenario where at the end he kept asking himself out loud where he should sleep. After we were done with this I later brought up the end of his play and sarcastically started acting it out and telling him how lame it was. He responded with فکر کردی مال خودت خیلی خنده دار بود  

Ramtin Moghadam was on Judge Judy. He seemed to prefer answering "right" instead of "yes". He was driving his girlfriend's car (which actually belonged to the girlfriend's mother) and got into a road rage incident with another driver. The other driver got out and kicked the car, denting it. Ramtin was awarded $1,023 for the repairs.  

In late fall of 1996 I drove to a temporary job in Hartford, Connecticut. My car had been having trouble and on my way there I noticed it began overheating again. During my lunch break I went to my car, retrieved an empty soda bottle and filled it up with water to put in my radiator on the way back. I was ok being stranded on the I-84 or the back roads off of the exit but for my own safety I decided I needed to get out of Hartford quickly. At the end of the day I went to my car, filled up the radiator and began driving towards what I thought was the on ramp for I-84. I must have taken a wrong turn because before long I found myself going around in circles in the dark in downtown Hartford.  I tried finding my way back but after many wrong turns and seeing the temperature gauge slowly creeping up I decided to ask for directions. I guy and girl were walking on the sidewalk so I pulled up to them and asked for directions to the highway. The guy indicated that his girl was going that wa...

Leila Bozorg is the Deputy Commissioner for Neighborhood Strategies at the New York City Department of Housing Preservation and Development. Leila grew up in Amherst, Massachusetts in a tight-knit immigrant community, which her parents, who were former activists that moved to the U.S. from Iran, were an active part of.  Bozorg’s identity as a queer person and the daughter of Iranian immigrants has profoundly influenced her approach to policy-making. “Growing up before queerness was widely accepted, particularly in Persian communities, I learned early on what it feels like to be on the margins,” she reflects.   In August 2021, Molly Gaebe started hatching her plan to propose to her. She bought a rainbow fabric ring the next day and asked Boudoir LeFleur, one of the couple’s favorite drag queens, to be a part of the proposal. Halfway through Boudoir LeFleur’s show at Cherry’s on the Bay, a restaurant and venue on Fire Island, she called out in mock innocence: “Is Molly ...

We had set up our computer in Khanom Joon’s dining room and as a result spent a lot of time there playing games, mainly Flight Stimulator. However, it was a new music album that Ardi received that suddenly had us going in a whole new direction. From one of his friends Ardi had not only gotten his hands on Madonna’s Like a Prayer album but also its inner sleeve that contained the lyrics. While Ardi made a copy of the album for both of us, we began scribbling down all of the lyrics as well. We were about half way through when suddenly a thought occurred to me. “Why are we copying this by hand? I can type it up on the computer. That way we can reprint it if we ever need to.” And that I did. I typed up all of the lyrics and saved them as BASIC files dominated by print commands. After printing out two copies for ourselves we realized that we might be able to use this as a way to generate money. That afternoon we headed outside and told most of the kids on the street about our booklet of lyr...

The story of Shirin Behzadi charts a remarkable journey: fleeing post-revolution Iran as a teen, taking a job at a gas station in Los Angeles, progressing into accounting and finance, and eventually becoming CEO of Home Franchise Concepts (HFC). "I was born in Iran, a beautiful country. I had parents who loved me deeply, saw my potential, and wanted me to have every opportunity possible. It was when the universities began to close that my parents made a tough decision— they sent me out of the country by myself…at 17, with little money and no one I knew. It was a very difficult journey, but they believed it was necessary for my survival. I made it to Istanbul, Turkey, and then to the US at a time when Iranians weren’t allowed into the country.  I arrived in the US with experiences unlike anyone around me. Yes, they were hard, but they also taught me that regardless of any adversity I faced, I could achieve any vision I set for myself. I was alone and needed an income, so...

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's ok," they almost said in unison, believing she was referencing the length of time they had been waiting. Judging by their calm demeanor she felt something was off  so she asked them, "Did anyone talk to you?" They shook their heads no. She tried to slide in to the news as delicately as possible. As she got further and deeper into it, the smiles on their faces slowly faded and before long they simply sat there completely drained and emotionless listening to her words as she honed in on the inevitable conclusion that they had already guessed. Once the ordeal was over they slithered back to one car even though they had arrived in two separate ones. They sat inside with blank stares on their faces and in complete silence as the car remained parked for a good five minutes.

A woman seen verbally and physically assaulting restaurant staff in a viral video that ripped across the internet Monday was arrested for public intoxication, KRON4 has learned. The video, which was posted Sunday by an employee of Hazie’s in SF’s Hayes Valley, opens with the unidentified woman berating staff while filming them with her phone. The San Francisco Police Department confirmed the woman’s name as Shireen Afkari. Miguel Marchese, a bartender at Hazie’s, told KRON4 the incident occurred sometime around 9 p.m., after the woman and her date were refused service because they appeared intoxicated. According to Marchese, after speaking with the couple, the manager made the call to not serve the couple. “He retracts her cocktails from the table, because I just made them, he brings them back and he simply tells me, ‘They’ve had enough to drink, we shouldn’t serve them anymore.’ And then later, it just kind of spiraled into chaos,” he said. As the video continues, Afkari is seen strik...

An elderly man who has been living in the United States for decades has been detained by ICE. His daughter is speaking out hoping for his immediate release due to his complex medical needs. Olia Majd, the daughter of Kazem Majd, said her dad came from Iran to the United States around 1965. He was a teenager. "He came on a student visa," Olia Majd said. He's now 77 years old living in San Diego and has called America home for the past 60 years. "All of his family is here," Majd said. "I've never looked at him as any other way than just being an American." She said her father was issued a green card and her family isn't aware of any criminal past. Twenty-three years ago, Majd said her father's green card was revoked after a legal issue involving finances. He was then required to check in with ICE every year. "And he did that for 23 years every year, never missed a check-in, and there were no issues," Majd said. One month ago, Majd h...

One time as I was sitting in our yard and looking at the street I noticed a neighborhood boy who was coming back from shopping. Given how our yard was above the street level he had not noticed me. As he got closer he suddenly unzipped his pants and without losing his stride began peeing as he continued walking. I waited until he was right under me before I started laughing at the top of my lungs. Clearly startled he looked around trying to find the source of laughter and as he did this his pee stream splashed in various directions. When he finally spotted me he calmed down, laughed and said, "I thought it was a grown adult laughing." The fact that I was a teenager seemed to make his indecent exposure and public urination justified.  

David Dastmalchian is an Iranian actor, writer, and producer. He has had supporting roles in a number of superhero franchises: he portrayed Thomas Schiff in The Dark Knight (2008), Kurt and Veb in the Ant-Man franchise, Abra Kadabra in the CW's The Flash, and Polka-Dot Man in The Suicide Squad (2021). Dastmalchian has appeared in three films directed by Denis Villeneuve: Prisoners (2013), Blade Runner 2049 (2017), and Dune (2021). Although he is best known for his work as a character actor, Dastmalchian had leading roles in the 2014 semi-autobiographical film Animals, which he wrote, and the 2023 horror film Late Night with the Devil, which he produced.  When director James Gunn cast David Dastmalchian as supervillain Polka-Dot Man for "The Suicide Squad", he had no idea that the actor has vitiligo. The skin disease gives Dastmalchian polka dots on h...

Across from the main gate of Sharif University on the opposite side of the street was a newspaper kiosk that also sold cold sodas and other snacks. Often when coming back from classes, especially in the warmer months, we would stop there and grab something to drink. The man who ran the kiosk was an old and blind man whose physical limitations often made me think people could easily take advantage of him and his merchandise due to his handicap. On one occasion a group of middle school kids rushed in and grabbed poundcakes before running off laughing as us and some other bystanders chased them away, causing them to drop some of the goods. While the store behind the university charged three tomans per soda, the old man charged five. We really didn’t mind the price difference as we would have to go out of our way through the University rear exit for the lower price. We generally took turns paying for all the drinks as it would make it easier for both parties when exchanging money, not to...