Absolute Random Nonsense

What are those dogs doing sniffing at my feet?

Has anyone noticed how similar the spelling of spot and stop is? Spot is spelled spot while stop is spelled stop.

The best prank to pull on anyone is to tell them to close their eyes and then smash a pan full of diarrhea in their face.  

Guys please sign the petition to increase the diameter of the basketball rim in NBA games to 3 feet.   

The very thing I’ve been searching for has been mine all along. And that's admission into Sharif University.

I do a lot of posting here but as I grow older I realize that it is becoming more difficult. It is thus that I am searching for some assistance and someone to be my assistant and number 2. If anyone would like to be my number 2 please PM me and once I have enough candidates for people requesting to be my number 2 we can start a post and poll where each candidate can explain why they feel like they will be my ideal number 2.   

I'm sure many of us here know the same people although we may not know about it yet. To figure out what people two posters might both know everyone please post the names of everyone you know.   

Last night I had a wonderful dream that I was roaming Sharif University. Then I woke up and realized I had already achieved this huge milestone.

Barry Goldberg is Iranian.   

My appointment was for 9:15 am. I arrived at the main headquarters at 8:30. There were different lines separated by purpose and appointment time so I asked the guard where to go for my interview. After lining up, I realized I left my pen and resume in the car and so I had to go back though in the end I did not really need them. The pen was only used twice, filling out the employment history form that I had already filled out online. First door to the main building was for security checks where they really confiscated mobile phones and some items which are not allowed, most people had to go out and give their phones to friends or vendors outside for safe keeping. Some just threw the small stuff in the trash like lighters or perfume. Actually there were warnings about that even outside, the vendors were saying them repeatedly but the people in my line were saying like maybe it's not true. I on the other hand knew that it's not allowed so when someone asked me what ...

Yesterday I spotted a gorgeous pair of legs that forced me to look up and see who they were attached to. They were attached to me.   

The man playing Madonna's lover in her Express Yourself video is Iranian.     

Does anyone know where I can get a gun that instead of shooting bullets shoots sweat stained aragh girs?

Yesterday I shook my ass but no one noticed.   

From now on I would like to be known as Prince Gkdgfujsdagfuysadgfjsarf. 

Has anyone ever accidentally eaten their entire foot?   

I am extremely awesome in many different ways. One of the ways that I am awesome is due to the fact that I went to Sharif University. 

Does anyone know somewhere that they cut of your ears if they don't like your face?   

I am my own demographic.   

There's an invisible man sleeping in my bed. Who am I gonna call?

Many times I’ve heard people accuse each other of having verbal diarrhea. Is it also possible to have verbal constipation and if so can you give an example of comments that would qualify as such?   

Today I saw a butt without a body running down the street. It was being chased by a man without a butt.

What is the best way to defeat an octopus in a break dancing competition?   

Has anyone ever danced so hard that their butt fell off?  

Sharif University is so awesome. It really bothers me that most people will never experience it and only a very, very, very small percentage of select Iranians will gain admission to it.   

What is the weirdest noise you can make with your mouth alone and not using any instruments? Please post it here.   

What is the best way to insert a stapler in someone's ear?