My appointment was for 9:15 am. I arrived at the main headquarters at 8:30. There were different lines separated by purpose and appointment time so I asked the guard where to go for my interview. After lining up, I realized I left my pen and resume in the car and so I had to go back though in the end I did not really need them. The pen was only used twice, filling out the employment history form that I had already filled out online.

First door to the main building was for security checks where they really confiscated mobile phones and some items which are not allowed, most people had to go out and give their phones to friends or vendors outside for safe keeping. Some just threw the small stuff in the trash like lighters or perfume. Actually there were warnings about that even outside, the vendors were saying them repeatedly but the people in my line were saying like maybe it's not true. I on the other hand knew that it's not allowed so when someone asked me what I think I just say I read that it's not allowed so it's better not to have any of those things which are on the list.

After security, we went straight to the windows where they asked me if I already had my medical. We went straight to another building and there's another security check, after that, there was a woman waiting for people and she just collected our app letter instead of dropping it at Window 39. We sat down and waited for my number to be called. At around 8:30 my number was called at Window 45.

I entered the room and 2 men and one woman in suits intently stared at me. She asked me the name of my wife, where I met her, her age, date of marriage, what she does, her first marriage and why it ended, about my in-laws, size of household. She was focused on the documents and was just taking notes. After that she just asked me to wait for my number to be called again. I was called at Window 42 for finger printing. My fingers were a little sweaty because of the mixed emotions so I had to do it twice.

I was called back again and the questions resumed. “You have changed careers before. Why should I let you experiment on my nickel?”

“Well as a career-changer, I believe that I'm a better employee because I've gained a lot of diverse skills from moving around,” I said as my arms began to reach up. “These skills help me solve problems creatively.”

They nodded. “From your resume, it looks like you were fired twice. How did that make you feel?”

“After I recuperated from the shock both times, it made me feel stronger. It's true that I was fired twice, but I managed to bounce back both times and land jobs that gave me more responsibility, paid me more money, and were at better firms.” My arms now at full stretch began to waver from side to side in a hypnotic flow. “The morale here is very high. I've been exposed to the "seamy underbelly" of this business, but I'm still passionate about working in it.”

“I see from your resume that you worked at CC&L for four years, and that's terrific. But I also noticed that you weren't promoted during that time. Why not?”

I rose from my seat. “CC&L is a great company, and thanks in part to my team's contributions, they are doing very well these days. But that wasn't always the case.” I began gyrating my hips. “During the first two years that I worked there, people were being fired left and right, and just hanging onto my job was a feat. Once the company began to turn around, my boss, Mr. Hobar, was offered a terrific job at a rival organization and it took CC&L six months to replace him and when they did, the new boss was eager to bring in his own people.” I slowly began unbuttoning my shirt. “Once again, I tenaciously hung on to my job, and, even though I was long overdue for a promotion, I really didn't think that the timing was right for me to broach it. No one from the old staff was there to even vouch for my performance!” I twirled around and whipped my shirt off.

“What do you view as your risks and disadvantages with the position we are interviewing you for?”

“I think that the home office located halfway across the globe, there is a very small risk that one might not have the chance to interact with the key decision makers as often as might be ideal.” I erotically slid my pants down and began massaging my upper thigh. “On the other hand, teleconferencing, email, faxing, and having a 24/7 work ethic will go a long way towards bridging the gap.” I grabbed a bottle of white out and drew an X on the massaged area.

“Are you telling me that, now that you're forty-something, you would be willing to start at an entry-level position just to get your foot in the door here?”

“Sometimes you need to take a step backward to move your career forward. Starting in an entry-level role would allow me to learn your business from the ground up.” I flattened my chest against the glass covered table in front of them, inadvertently moving some of the papers in the process. I began to grind against it as I continued responding. “The career that I've been in is so different than yours that I would love the opportunity to start over again in your field. The salary cut will be well worth it.”

The three looked at each other. One of the men who had been silent up to that point reached under the desk and suddenly pulled out a sawed off shot gun. Before I could react he began shooting, landing bullet after bullet in my body. My flesh wounds poured blood all over the interview table, soaking the various pieces of paper. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the shots stopped. The other man scribbled something on a piece of paper and slid it towards me. “Here is our initial offer.”

I glanced at the paper and pushed it back towards them. "I respectfully reject your offer."

"We understand and respect your decision," the women said. Then they began to eat me.