Absolute Random Nonsense

Everybody poops but only some dance with the devil on a Thursday afternoon.

Please sign the petition to reunite My Mine.  

For me best Christmas present would be 100 billion dollars.  

Does anyone know where I could find someone to sing Baba Karam to me in Chinese?   

I watched the 1990 World Cup final with my friend who showed up a little late and thus missed much of the pregame ceremonies. He finally made it there just as the game was about to start. In spite of the hot summer weather I brought some tea and pastries for us to eat. Following the singing of the national anthems the teams began getting ready for kickoff. The crowd was chanting in unison although I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying so I turned to him to see if he could make it out. “Are they chanting Iran?” he asked me prompting us both to laugh out loud at the ridiculousness of his suggestion. A fter suffering through that 90 minutes of vomit and an ultimate German win, I walked him outside and as we chatted a bit and he got ready to leave my exact words to him (with the final still fresh in my mind) were "عجب جام جهانی ک**ری بود."   

This must be the place I've waited years to leave.   

What is the biggest melachium you have ever pulgered?   

I hope we find a planet with intelligent life on it and destroy it or make the aliens our slaves.

Where can I buy out of print albums of The Party Posse?   

Or a person who can see.

No World Cup will ever top the 1986 World Cup. The 1970 World Cup is a close second.

Does anyone know where I can find old episodes of the show What Up with That?   

I'm writing a poem but I'm kinda stuck. Can anyone come up with a word that rhymes with soup?   

I'm very interested.

With regards to sex, when is the best time to poop; before, after or during?

Is there anything in the world more beautiful than an Iranian girl?   

Would you be concerned if suddenly your poop started coming out smelling like blueberry waffles?   

I have been listed in the credits of the album "On Foot: Brooklyn".   

Who can say Jaturapattarapong 10 times and really fast?   

I'm Steve Zakuani. This how I work. And this is how I play.   

What is the best way to clone Gilbert Gottfried?   

Kaveh Rastegar was a member of Kneebody.  

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the "P" is silent and it normally poops while peeing anyway and the sound of his pooping is so loud so that the peeing noise is barely audible anymore and when he begins to fly away he is normally not done pooping yet and so the poop keeps falling out of him as he is flying and it lands on the other dinosaurs below like a B-52 plane bombing Vietnam in which the US lost anyway so maybe they should have used pterodactyls instead of B-52s which would have been hard as they are extinct.  

Is it macaroni time?  

Do you wanna make pies?

I have come up with something that allows people to see through solid walls.   

Our classroom formation did not last for long. In order to eliminate our bench (which happened to be on the side of the blackboard), Kourosh and I were squeezed in in other benches that only had two occupants. As a result I was now sharing a bench towards the middle of class with Ghafourmohseni and Kianoosh. With us being given one of the smallest classes, we complained to the office that as seniors we deserved better and they sided with us. Before long we were moved over to the class next door which was much bigger and allowed for two columns of benches, one on each side of the classroom, with a wide corridor in between. Each bench kept their lineup during the move although soon afterwards we were all shifted two benches back due to the last two benches on our side causing two much chaos during class and being transferred to the first two rows. Even though the school year had started for some time, I still had not purchased any of my textbooks. I had borrowed many of them from Alireza...

Let's play a game where someone says a word and then you have to say a word but it can't be the same as mine but it can be close but with a deeper meaning and it has to be within 3-4 letters of the original word and somewhat related to the brand of pants you are wearing but cannot directly reference the color although the exception will be if the pants are loose fitting or have slight pen marks on them and also the word should have a subliminal message about the last meal you had but you can't count light snacking as a meal and just to clarify the meal should include either rice, soup, corn or french fries that are homemade although for the fries fast food fries will also be accepted if they were either large or extra large and purchased with Coke but not Pepsi and the word should also not have a meaning in any language but English and Japanese and also if you read the word backwards it has no meaning but kinda sounds like it should and you get extra points if ...

With my back problems acting up again, I spent a lot of time that summer in x-ray labs, physical therapy and Doctor Molavi’s office. The doctor’s office was far, on Keshavrz Boulevard, and only open in the afternoons. To make matters worse there were no appointments but was rather first come, first serve. The good part was that this particular doctor refused to charge any of his patients. One day as the secretary arrived and let us in we all went inside and sat in the waiting room. Other than myself there were two other ladies and an older man. We each grabbed a seat and occupied ourselves as best as we could. One lady pulled out a magazine while the other sat silently. I simply stared into space. Suddenly the old man got out of his seat. “What’s going on here? Is this a funeral or have we all just had a huge fight with each other?” We all looked up. “I don’t get it. This lady is pouting, you are pouting, this other lady is pouting. What’s the problem? Let’s see some s...

Goel Talasazan was on Judge Judy. Ironically he is a jeweler.