Absolute Random Nonsense

When I was a teenager I expressed that I didn't want to get eaten alive. After further thought I concluded that I didn't even wanna get eaten after dying.  

Police in Los Angeles are searching for a suspect who gunned down a doctor who treated movie stars and athletes and was found dead near his vehicle outside a medical center. It happened Aug. 23 around 6:12 p.m. in the 5900 block of Topanga Canyon Boulevard, the Los Angele Police Department said in a news release. When officers arrived, the victim was found with a gunshot wound and was pronounced dead at his workplace. The victim was identified in multiple reports as 61-year-old Dr. Hamid Mirshojae. "Everyone in the Woodland Hills area, even in LA, they know him because he was a really good doctor," Maryem Alaei, Mirshojae's family friend, told KTLA. "Always laughing, always joking, always helping people." A motive has not been identified, and police said the shooter took off on foot. No suspect description is available. Staff at the clinic told the Daily Mail he was ambushed by three men with baseball bats and Beaten outside the clinic just a few months ...

When Apameh Schönauer was named Miss Germany 2024 on Saturday, the Berliner beamed onstage in her sash, a giant smile on her face. A mother and a working architect, Schönauer says she’s passionate about women’s rights and helping migrants assimilate to life in Germany. She too is a migrant – born in Iran, she immigrated to Germany with her family when she was six. Schönauer said the first years of living in a foreign country were difficult – she struggled to fit in at school and lost sight of who she was as a person. Her organisation Shirzan (meaning 'lioness') helps oppressed women, encouraging them to “share their stories and their experiences, to inspire and support each other so they can realize their full potential.”  

Would it be wrong to decide to eat a pomegranate but instead chew on the loose skin of the underside of an old man’s feet while bathing in maple syrup?   

When I was younger I imagined putting a lion in a fire. Later I also pictured adding litmus paper.

I was visiting a friend who does a lot of gondeh goozi and poz and always likes to pretend he knows (and owns) everything. So he had bought this weird looking painting that I thought was horrible and had hung it on the wall and asked me what I thought about it. Just to mess with him I decided to make up some nonsense and said, "Someone with your artistic sense should know that the horizontal striations of the painting is totally at odds with the representational tonality of the fireplace and thus nullifies the vertical extension and harmonious solidity of the chandelier." The proper response would have been to ask me what the hell does that even mean as it meant absolutely nothing but being the person that he is he simply nodded and said "Oh, so you noticed that too?"   

I would like a day to be chosen to be known as Ramin Sadr Day. I would like a celebration each year on this day with everyone giving me cash and items. On this day I would like people to let me know what they like about me and in return I will let them know what I don't like about them. I would also like it to be announced on the front page of Yahoo! and possibly on other web sites as well. Let me know what day works for you guys.   

Many people have told me that my love is like a wincharger.  

Since President Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 presidential race, the public's attention has shifted to glaring age gap between former President Donald Trump and Vice President Kamala Harris. Trump's flailing attacks on Harris and often incoherent speeches have raised questions about his ability to serve another term. Ramin Setoodeh, a journalist who interviewed Trump six times in 2021 for his book "Apprentice in Wonderland," told Salon that he noticed lapses in the 78-year-old's memory even three years ago. "So when I went to interview Donald Trump, my first interview was shortly after he left the White House in May of 2021. And then when I returned back to Trump Tower later that summer, because he invited me to go back to have a second interview, he didn't recall meeting with me or our first interview, and he told me that was “a long time ago.” He struggled with the chronology of events, particularly some of the events that happened in th...

I realized my Sharif University caliber intelligence does not extend to my volleyball skills.  

Kaftarbaz could also mean someone who molests pigeons.   

Does anyone have any secrets that they plan on taking with them to their grave? If so, please post them here.   

Sahar Biniaz from Vancouver, B.C., was crowned Miss Universe Canada 2012 at the conclusion of the 10th anniversary of the pageant. Sahar, who was born in India and raised in Iran, graduated with honors from Stella Adler Academy in Los Angeles, in performing arts.  

Would it be wrong to wear a sweater vest and listen to Michael Bolton sing how am I supposed to live without you while making love to Paul the Octopus?   

I love Gholi's grandmother. I wonder if she's still alive.  

California Lottery Officials announced today the winner of Wednesday nights $33,000,000 Super Lotto Jackpot is Walnut Creek (and former Concord) resident Massoud Ardalan. Ardalan purchased the winning ticket from the Shell gas station on Ygnacio Valley Road, next to Heather Farm park. Congratulations to the Ardalan family!

Does anyone have a quick fix solution for half of a home’s roof being blown away by the wind?   

I would like to look very sexilicious. What can I do to achieve this?   

Rearrange the letters to spell out an important part of the human body which is even more useful when erect. P N E S I  

Years ago I applied for a job at Orange High School. Trying to familiarize myself with the school I skimmed through their math department and noticed an Iranian named Hooman Behzadpour was employed there. I reached out through all my social media Iranian groups to see if anyone knew him and could put me in touch with him as a connection to increase my chances. No one knew him. I didn't get the job.

Has anyone ever sneezed so hard that their man boobs caved in?   

What was Kobra's decision?   

I hate trying to inhale watermelons up my nose.   

What is the cheapest way to get to the island of Sodor?   

Other than the obvious as in it becoming a coach's game aiming for a conservative 1-0 win with an ultra defensive formation accompanied by plenty of walking and even standing still with the ball and almost zero player creativity, here are other things about the game today that I don't like: Hydration breaks: It's no hotter than it was the past 100 years so enough with treating the players like wusses. What's next, orange slices? Endless subs: It used to be 2 subs total. Later they also added a goalkeeper sub. Today the sub situation is like a rec youth soccer game. Uniforms: Teams had set first and secondary kits. For example Germany wore white/black/white when possible and green/white/green as a backup. In the past 10 years I've seen them wear black, red, red and black stripes, and purple jerseys. It's seems like teams just put on whatever jersey is at the top of their drawer. Socks: Some players cut them at the ankle and wear them like a sle...

Damien Noorbakhsh the MMA guy was on Swift Justice. The defendant was Hedi Fazai. Damien won $3,200.  

I wonder if he reads this blog. Howdy folks! Thanks for visiting my website. I'm Ashkahn, an artist, designer and all around bon vivant living & working in Los Angeles. My studio has been named #1 in service 10 years in a row. Experience the difference. Give us a call & tell em' that Ashkahn sent you & we will throw in a free poster! Unbelievable! Don't be shy. Say HELLO or by phone 213-536-POOP(7667) Oh! I forgot to mention that you can see what we're up to on the BLOG and what gets me moving on the WISDOM page. Last but not least sign the GUESTBOOK. Keep your feet on the ground & your head in the clouds. Until next time

I need a volunteer to permit me to refer to them as Captain Poophead.   

Years ago there was this guy who bought a Turkey jersey from me and as part of his payment I forbid him to refer to anyone without calling them Mr. or Ms. For example he would have to say: In fact, the Us source claims that Mr. Williams—who's produced not only hip-hop A-listers like Mr. Jay-Z over the years, but also pop stars including new "X Factor" judge Ms. Britney Spears -- is all but a done deal, and that the show "flew him in to L.A. last week for final meetings." The story provides less certain details on Mr. Jonas, only suggesting that "AI" producers "think he can help bring that younger demo to the show."  

Would it be wrong to dance on the sidewalk while singing out loud: "Shambool shambooli shambool, ma shambool darim shambool"?   

A little megalomania becomes you evidently.