I was visiting a friend who does a lot of gondeh goozi and poz and always likes to pretend he knows (and owns) everything. So he had bought this weird looking painting that I thought was horrible and had hung it on the wall and asked me what I thought about it. Just to mess with him I decided to make up some nonsense and said, "Someone with your artistic sense should know that the horizontal striations of the painting is totally at odds with the representational tonality of the fireplace and thus nullifies the vertical extension and harmonious solidity of the chandelier." The proper response would have been to ask me what the hell does that even mean as it meant absolutely nothing but being the person that he is he simply nodded and said "Oh, so you noticed that too?"
It had taken a couple of weeks of negotiation but Joe finally got the deal he wanted and drove out of the dealership in his brand new Explorer. His girlfriend knew his real motivation for buying a utility vehicle was because he loved to go four-wheeling on Saturdays with his friends and felt a little conspicuous when he was always doing the "riding" and never the driving. Joe arrived and ran into her house as excited as a nine-year-old boy with his first bicycle. Mary was working at her computer as Joe came up behind her, gave her a big kiss on the cheek and said, "C'mon, c'mon, let's go! Let's go for a ride." They jumped into the Explorer and headed out of town. After a few minutes, Joe pulled over to the side of the road and invited Mary to drive. She got behind the wheel and found that she really enjoyed the sensation of sitting up so high with a great view of everything ahead of her. Joe instructed, "Hang a left here" and as Mary follow...
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