Absolute Random Nonsense

When I was a kid I used to call in the siphsifon leader.

Family Guy portrayed every Persian guy in the world as someone who wants a white BMW.

In 1989 when watching The Lost Boys I noticed Corey Feldman wore a headband. That prompted me to buy my own which also came with two wristbands.

Maky Zanganeh, who’s 54, has followed an unusual path to become a biotech CEO. She was born in Tehran, Iran, the youngest of three girls, to architect parents and was eight years old when the Shah was overthrown in early 1979. The following year, the Iran-Iraq war began. “We constantly had to face the fear of bombing,” she wrote in her 2021 memoir, The Magic of Normal . “We never knew if the bombs would hit our home or not.” When she was about 11 years old, a friend of her father’s in Germany helped get the family German visas so they could leave Iran. The difficulty was getting a flight out of Tehran, because airports were often closed. Zanganeh and her parents ended up flying to Germany via Austria, she recounts in her memoir. They lived in Oldenburg, a small town in northern Germany near Hamburg, and she learned German. Her parents ended up returning to Iran, but Zanganeh stayed in Germany for high school, first living with a friend and then with an uncle. Both of her sisters ende...

Once me and my friend had just came out of a Star Trek movie and we were laughing at ourselves for spending 8 bucks and our time on the movie (we were making jokes about the movie)... I wasn't laughing hard but this was the foundation on what was gonna happen. So I had to piss and went to the urinal. While standing there pissing and thinking of my jokes, this old fat guy came in and pulled up next to me and started pissing and let out a big FART...like ZZAAARRRRRT. So I started laughing harder and harder...then I started farting myself...and every time I laughed and my stomach contracted I farted and my piss stopped...I farted like 10 times in a row...with each laugh a fart and my piss would stop and then start again. At this point I didn't know what I was laughing at. I was laughing at the guy, the movie, my piss, my fart, my laugh. I was laughing at myself laughing and I couldn't stop. Then I tried walking but I couldn't. I was dragging myself out of the thea...

Michael Shayan's mother had a very humble reaction to seeing her son portray her on stage for the first time. "At first when I started doing it, she's like, 'Why you want to write a play about me, what that is to write?'" Shayan said with a laugh. "Now she's like, 'So what are we doing my play?' I'm like, 'Oh, it's your play now. I get it.' She's like, 'When I'm going to Broadway?'" Now, that show, Shayan’s solo “Avaaz” is beginning its national tour — in Denver. It’s not just a personal story, it’s also a Persian New Year celebration taking center stage at the Denver Center Theater Company this month. The production marks a milestone as the first major Iranian American play to be staged in Colorado. Each night, Shayan transforms into his mother Roya, hosting a traditional Norooz celebration that becomes a window into their shared story of immigration, cultural identity and family bonds. The show...

I can't believe I was able to make myself look like such a redneck. I also can't believe it's not butter.   

Does anyone know where I can find the song “Tuesday is the Best Day Ever”?   

Popularity breeds contempt.   

کلاس چهارم دبستان توی کلاس بچه ها داد میزدند: فانتوم نابودش کن! البته دلیلش هم یکی از قسمتهای برنامه کودک بود که یک سری بچه ها داد میزدند میگ حمله کن و بقیه جواب میدادند فانتوم نابودش کن. من واقعا نمیدونم تهیه کننده های این برنامه چی فکر میکردند که بنظرشون در زمان جنگ و در یک کلاس در ایران نیمی از بچه ها از میگ طرفداری میکردند .

To his friends and family, 63-year-old Abdolvahab Alaghmandan was a devoted husband and father with the biggest heart and the best sense of humor. To his son's girlfriend, Megan Staker, he was like a second father. She spoke to him just days before he was killed in the mass shooting at a Valley Transportation Authority rail yard in San Jose . "He was driving home from work and he was really happy because it was his Friday," Staker said. "He had the next two days off, and we were talking about what he was going to do, and I told him I loved him." Staker said he went by "Abdi," a man who left Iran in the 1990s for a better life in the United States with his wife and two boys. Staker said he worked for VTA for about two decades and knew the man who killed him and eight other co-workers. They worked together at the rail yard for several years and never had any issues before. "I don’t know why he would do this to Abdi," Staker said...

I miss the days when we could create a Canada Dry bottle out of clay and begin howling.

Before coming to Canada from Iran in 2020, Hamed Heydarzadeh and his wife Mansooreh Fereidooni sold off their car as well as most of their assets, and paid a private tutor for a year to boost their English proficiency. Five years and $50,000 later, they are considering leaving, as getting permanent residency (PR) is an uphill battle. If it doesn’t come through, they’ll have to go home, or start from scratch — again — in another country. For decades, Canada was a top destination for immigrants, seen as a stable and safe place to live with a clear path to permanent residency. But now, many recent newcomers say it’s an expensive and often futile endeavour. CBC spoke with 50 such newcomers from across Canada, who came using varying immigration streams, about their journeys. Most felt that the cost of the Canadian dream doesn’t reflect its value, and they’re deliberating staying — if they even can. And with the federal government recently tightening immigration policy in res...

When I was around 12 I discovered a cave that I named Sahrahan although later I renamed it Sahraha,

Iranian migration has left a mark on Mexican culture and history that belies its sporadic nature. In recent decades, increasing numbers of Iranians have made their way here, making a home a world away in a country that many say reminds them of their homeland. The Iranian presence in Mexico dates back centuries to when Mexico City was a thriving capital in Spain's empire. Ships arrived regularly on Manila galleons from the Philippines, bringing luxury goods from Asia in return for Mexican silver. Thousands of people from across Asia crossed to Latin America on these boats. Among them was Don Pedro de Zarate, a merchant from Isfahan, Iran, who made his way to Mexico City in the 1720s. He was part of a small community of New Julfa Armenians living in the La Merced neighborhood. Accused of being a heretic by the Spanish Inquisition, we only know of their existence because of de Zarate's testimony to the inquisition in Mexico City in 1730. It is unclear if de Zarate...

Dutch soccer legend Clarence Seedorf has announced his conversion to Islam after marrying an Iranian girl, expressing joy over joining the followers of the holy religion. Seedorf made the announcement from the United Arab Emirates (UAE) on Friday in an Instagram post, which carried a picture of himself together with his Iranian wife Sophia Makramati.   “Special thanks for all the kind messages, my celebration of my joining the Muslim family, and I am also happy to join all the brothers and sisters around the world, especially the beloved Sophia, who taught me the depth of the meaning of Islam,” he said.

When I was in the 4th grade during Jewish hymns two students used to fart and then say ahhhh......

Hooman Moghtaderi was on Beachfront Bargain Hunt. 

A woman who worked as a hairstylist for Fox Sports alleges in a lawsuit that former host Skip Bayless made repeated, unwanted advances toward her - including an offer of $1.5 million to have sex with him. Attorneys for Noushin Faraji, who was a hair stylist at Fox for more than a decade, are seeking unspecified damages from Bayless, Fox Sports and its parent company, Fox Corporation, according to a copy of the lawsuit filed Friday in California Superior Court in Los Angeles. Faraji claimed that the advances by Bayless, which began in 2017 and continued until last year - included lingering hugs, kisses on the cheek and comments from Bayless that he could change Faraji's life if she had sex with him. In 2021, she claims in the suit, Bayless offered Faraji $1.5 million for sex and, after she refused, later threatened her job. "Ms. Faraji knew that he was trying to pressure her into having sex with him, but she kept repeating that she was a professional that...

When I was 7ish I remember picturing myself in an empty meadow as I screamed "Just imagine!"

If you were to peruse Sanaz Toossi’s Instagram you would find a recent headshot with the tongue-in-cheek caption, “i am an extremely serious artist.” She stares into the camera, head tilted, with a wistful gaze and with a gold necklace pulling focus from her dark black hair. The pendant, hanging on the gold chain, is Sanaz’s own name in Farsi. When asked about her views on language, Toossi said “I love that language fails us. It should.” She went on to describe her acceptance of the limitations of language. “I’ve tried to learn to be comfortable with the inability to fully encapsulate something” Toossi’s writing beautifully makes space for the limitations of language. When told by an interviewer that her use of language evokes a sense of homesickness, she responded “I’ve been looking for that term for a really long time because I think it defines all of my work. Homesickness.” Sanaz Toossi grew up in Orange County, California, always aware of her family's home ...

I volunteered to be a driver for the 1994 World Cup. During one of our training sessions I came across another Iranian, Ali Najafi, who worked there. After exchanging pleasantries and sharing stories of how we ended up in the US, he gave me a Snickers bar and told me that each bar was an entry for World Cup prizes. Then, almost as an after thought, he handed me the whole box and said that since they were free for him I might as well take them all and increase my chances. None of them were a winner.  

A Beverly Hills doctor was charged Monday with drugging and raping a woman who worked for him — and police say there could be other victims. The physician allegedly used high hourly pay to entice potential victims to work at his office. Dr. Babak Hajhosseini, who founded the Beverly Hills-based Wound & Burn Centers of America, was arrested on Nov. 26 by the Los Angeles Police Department after one of his employees reported that he had sexually assaulted her, according to officials. Police said the doctor used job recruiting websites to offer potential victims high hourly pay to entice them into working for him. Once they did, police said, Hajhosseini would pressure them to work overtime at his house. One employee alleged that she was pressured to drink alcohol at Hajhosseini's residence and that she promptly lost consciousness, police said. Hajhosseini sexually assaulted her and recorded it, according to the LAPD. On Dec. 23, the Los Angeles County district attorney...