Absolute Random Nonsense

I'm going step dancing with my mailman.   

I want to share something with you but if you laugh at me I will die.   

Guys please do not forget that Monday is wear a red and white striped shirt to work day.   

There is no street in the world more beautiful than Vali Asr Street.   

For my civil engineering senior project I presented blueprints for building a city on rock & roll.

Today I invented a new word called splimer. Splimer means ear.   

When I got my engineering degree in the US I was so disgusted with the program and university (which was understandable coming from Sharif University) that on the exit survey in response to the questions regarding weight and height (which I couldn't understand why they were needed anyway) I put down my answers in kilograms and centimeters.  

Whenever I have some kind of problem I go to Mr. Whoopy even though I hate his stupid laugh.  

Does anyone remember Bahman Azimi's murder spree?   

Today a girl came up to me and said Aziz Joon. I didn't know what to say in response. Please let me know about your suggestions.

After seeing the pants one of my students was wearing I asked her if on the way to school she had been attacked by a mountain lion.   

When Brad Guzan makes a save or an impressive play the crowd cheers: G-O-O-O-Z!!!!!   

Does anyone know when Löded Diper's new album is coming out?   

Relationships can be tricky. I was once dating this girl that everything she wanted was everything she saw. I guess I must have loved her because I said she was the perfect girl for me. Fast forward six months later and everything she saw was out of reach and/or not good enough and I really didn't know what the hell she wanted from me. Some people work for a living, some people work for fun but I just worked for her. I'd ask myself if my best isn't good enough then how can it be good enough for two? All I could see was the end of the week and yet I could see that the things we buy weren't gonna keep us together. I ended up breaking up with her and met a different girl although people said that she was no good for me and she's making a fool of me. She eventually left me and told me I should try it. I told her I don't want to play around. Like a prisoner who had his own key I couldn't escape as I didn't want her freedom. I just went from day t...

This is an amazing vacation where I see a shining ocean, a sky so blue, and a world in motion. I feel a warm wind blowing, and the sun and rain. I feel the beauty we live in. I wish I could do some paintings here.   

Yesterday we went to this funky fashion show with a bunch of supermodels walking the runway although it was more like they were trying to seduce you. When I arrived at the studio, I found the cavernous space decked out like a runway show from hell. One model wore a motorcycle outfit (with side view mirrors) and a robot costume. The robot was an amazing piece that was really handmade, and of course it didn’t stretch. It was kind of tight, and then there was the helmet that was literally made on the skull. One of the girls backstage was fed up with being back there, she was like a revolution. She snapped, went berserk, and someone tried to slap her to calm her down. She said: “No, you’ve got to get me going. I want you to really push me and slap the hell out of me.” And another girl said, “Really?” And she turned around and just slapped her. She went, “Like that.” and she was like, “Okay!” So she shook her. She then went on the runway and they were trying to stop her, and th...

Does anyone know what I can take for nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, diarrhea?

Last night I dreamed I was in my hotel living room, urinating powerfully. As I freshened up several people of various ethnic groups also entered the room, some fat, small, thin, athletic, gorgeous, even tired after a hard day of working. They began to undress and re-dress themselves, all as if they have either just gotten out of the shower themselves, or come home from work. The entire cast performed a brief, synchronized dance sequence. After this exchange, a hotel employee came by the door with room service as I was still dressing myself. The employee danced briefly as I turned away to grab a pen to sign for the meal. The dancers vacated when I sat down to dinner in front of the television.   

Hi everyone. There will be a WE8/PES4 tournament held at May 25th by the Rang a Rang Channel Management. This tournament will be held in the USA and in Northern Virginia area which is where I live. I am friends with Khosro for those of you who watch that channel would know him, the host of that show, and it is official. As of right now I know about 25 people on top of my head who are 100% joining the tournament. I wanted to see if there are any members here who live in Virginia/Maryland and are interested to join. Here are some info: The tournament will 95% be held on 25th and will take place the whole day. - 100% the final game and 90% the 2nd round games will be broadcasted live on the Rang a Rang Channel, so everyone of you Wining 11 fans can watch this thing live. - There is a $50 fee to be part of this tournament. - The games will be 10 min long each, and will be played on PS2 only. - The 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place winners will definitely get awards, as of right now i...

On Thursday when I came home I turned on the lights, the TV and the radio. It was raining.

Last night we had gone to this club in the city. Inside we saw this guy arguing with a coat check girl at the club, urging her to quit. It seemed like she was his ex girlfriend. She finally said that she had had enough of him and did not want anything to do with him anymore. He was ejected by the bouncer around 3:00 a.m. We heard him screaming drunken threats to shut this place down. He left but returned to the establishment with a plastic container with gasoline. He spread the fuel at the base of a staircase, the only access into the club, and then ignited the gasoline. The club had no fire exit, it only had one door. Some of those trapped punched a hole through a wall to an adjoining union hall in an attempt to escape. Eighty nine people died in the resulting fire, mostly from from asphyxiation or trampling.   

This was such a weird weekend. On my way to the park I saw the daughter of our neighbor against the door wall, listening as her parents fought. She was holding on to her stuffed teddy bear and rested her head on it. Due to heavy rain the area was flooded and there were fish swimming everywhere. At the park an older couple sat on a park bench, watching the neighbor’s door float by them. The older couple had lost everything. Their flooded neighborhood has been deemed a disaster. The home they believed they would die in together no longer existed. Earlier they had seen most of their clothes drift by. They kissed as the door reached them. On my way back a neighbor invited me inside for a drink. In the kitchen, she put some powder in a blender. She unscrewed the cap of a liquor bottle and poured it in the mixture and took a drink. Then the man came home from work. He took off his jacket and tie and unbuttoned his shirt, Underneath he was wearing a black bodysuit. It seemed like...

There were plenty of broken branches and shrubs around and thus, with some help from his matchbox and a few sheets torn out of his notepad, Callahan had his fire blazing in no time. He sat beside it and as he periodically fed it a new piece of wood, his mind began to wander away. He thought about what he had been through and how he had got to where he was, what he had done right or wrong and what he would have done differently. He realized that this was a pointless exercise for him, after all the show was already over and thus there was no need to analyze the situation. He could only regret the fact that the best he could offer was still not good enough for some. Callahan dropped his head and it was then that he noticed his shirt, the same shirt he had intentionally kept on for the past few days. There was something special about this shirt. He remembered buying it in Germany, he had worn it on one of the many occasions when he narrowly passed a crucial test, he had...

Do any of you wear booty shorts that have "juicy" written across the butt?   

Do any of you guys ever put cherry vanilla ice cream in your socks?   

I was once in an elevator with some other guy. When he wasn't looking, I dipped my fingers in a jar of peanut butter, waited for him to look at me, then put my hand down the back of my pants, took my hand out and smeared the peanut butter all over my head. He quickly pressed the button for the next floor. Had he stayed I would have smeared it on his head too.

What do you call someone who can't get into Sharif University? A Stanford University student.  

Here's a riddle for you guys: what starts with an S, ends in a Y and is extremely difficult to get into?

Have you heard the news? I'm doing what I said I would.   

One time I walked into the ladies' room and on the wall it was written "If you'd like a very good time just give this number a call." It was 6060842.