Absolute Random Nonsense

Jennifer Carpenter is Hope Solo.

Shahin Bayani kinda looks like Jason Biggs from American Pie.   

In the 2015 Peanuts movie there are multiple shots of the Veresk Bridge.   

Has anyone ever loved anyone because they saw that person's true colors?   

It's a shame that the 80s ended.   

Did any of you guys go to Sharif University? It's ok if you didn't. It's very hard to gain admission.  

My head is spinning. Too much hookah.   

Are you guys excited about Paper Gods? Bow to them.

My son has told me for college he wants to go to Sharif University (he called it "the college that you went to in Iran). He is undecided whether to move back or commute back and forth every week.   

Tony Nikkhoo was on Judge Judy (for the 2nd time, the first being in 2004). He is now the limo company owner. He won the first case but not only did he lose the second one ($1,800) but also got beat up badly by Judge Judy.

People are seeing change all over the world. Arctic sea ice is melting earlier and forming later. Glaciers are disappearing. Heat waves, storms and floods are becoming more extreme. Insects are emerging sooner and flowers are blooming earlier. In some places, birds are laying eggs before they’re expected and bears have stopped hibernating. So what’s going on? Our planet is getting warmer, and even a small increase in temperature can change our climate. And when our climate changes, we’re all affected. Earth is the only planet we know of that can support poop. The reason Earth is different than the rest relies on a number of poops. We get just the right amount of poop from the sun (if we were any closer, we would burn up; if we were any further, we’d poop). Our atmosphere is a layer of poops surrounding the Earth that absorbs ultra violet poop and prevents poops from rising too high or getting too cold. The poophouse effect is the process that poops the surface of the Earth...

 

Did they photo shop Keane's head on a teenager's body?  

As the school year wound down we got closer and closer to our final exams. With introductory exams also being squeezed into our schedule, the final third of our year became extremely jam-packed and teachers rushed to cover all the necessary material. As a result for many of our classes we shared a classroom with other seniors in order to utilize both periods for both classes and hence tackle twice as many topics. While we had learned differentiation the previous year, integration was only introduced during a compact 3rd marking period. As Mr. Ghamisi surveyed the 60+ students before him, he explained that what we were about to face was the exact opposite of differentiation. “You all know how to find the derivative of a function,” he started. “Now you’ll be given a derivative and you’ll find what the original function was. “Your book is kind of confusing. In some parts of it they refer to the original functions as antiderivatives while in other parts they call them indef...

I found an online version of (some of the pages of) a Bravo magazine (January 4, 1990 issue) that I had come across in Iran. I still remembered most of the ranking of the men and women singers in that issue. And I still don't know who half of those people are and I can no longer blame it on me living in Iran.  

I think I'm done with the sofa.   

July 7 was the anniversary of the second time my boss farted out loud in front of me while carrying on with his conversation.   

On another day Mr. Ghamisi began defining various functions for us. After describing odd and even functions, he went on to define a neither odd nor even function as one that was neither odd nor even. Likewise he explained that a both odd and even function was both odd and even. We all laughed at his explanation, pointing out that such functions really didn’t need a description as what they meant was clear from their names. “It’s not always the case where something is what its name describes,” he countered. “For example if someone introduced themselves as Hossein Gholi prime, would you take the derivative of Hossein Gholi to find out what their name is?”   

Any player who gets a haircut in the midst of a World Cup to generate headlines instead of focusing on his team's games is a complete idiot.   

Has anyone been to the Sodom and Gomorrah show? I have heard that it's got everything you need for your complete entertainment although I wish they would have listed what exactly those components are.

Hippies everywhere. They can't even get a bonfire going. I feel like I should step in but watching them struggle is more amusing. Trying to light it, one of them fell in the fire pit. What have I gotten myself into? Stay away from psychedelic social experiments on barely inhabited islands.   

When I'm old I pray that I'm not as loud and annoying as this man in Burger King who is loudly complaining about everything and anything. Part of the restaurant transcript. The old man's lines are all being screamed at the top of his lung. Old man: Martha they want to charge me $4 for two coffees! Martha: Tell them it's senior coffees. It should only be 54 cents each. Old man: Martha a senior coffee is small! I want a large one! What do I do? Martha: Just get the small one. We can get another one afterwards. Old man: Will they refill for free? I don't wanna pay again for a coffee! Old man: Julie come sit at the table! (repeated 5 times in less than 10 seconds) Old man: I don't like these fries! They don't taste good! That's all I remember off the top of my head. I should have recorded it.  

You have never lived until you've eaten kidney stone soup.   

It would be cool if Donald Trump also held a Mr. America pageant every year.   

I remember once throwing a melon slice at a car as we passed it. It hit the windshield and kinda exploded all over it. The look on the drive's face was priceless as he screamed in horror, tried to gain control of the car, drove off the road, hit a tree and died.   

No fall from grace has been more epic than that of France following the 1986 World Cup.   

In one of my early relationships the girl used to dress me up and buy me things. She would bring me food and give me love. People would look at the two of us in sympathy with everything we saw. I never wanted anything as she would buy whatever I needed. She would phone me in the evening on hearsay and buy me caviar. Or take me to a restaurant off Broadway. We never ever argued. We never calculated the currency we'd spent. Sometimes I'd look at her and think to myself that words mean so little and money less when she's lying next to me. She also paid my rent. It was so easy.   

 

Is it wrong of me to feel like taking all my clothes off and dancing to the rite of spring?   

"You see the best way to fool someone is to make them think they are fooling you.” “And how exactly do you do that?” “Well, it depends on the situation. Here’s one. You’ve seen that jewelry place on Broad Street, I think it’s Gem Jewelers, but I’m not sure. There are so many new jewelry places around these days just popping out of nowhere. I think it’s because people are starting to wear more jewelry. Before it was just women, but now guys are wearing it too, especially Hispanic men. I couldn’t tell you how many guys I’ve seen walking around with a whole bunch of chains dangling from their neck. I’m surprised how they can do that and not hurt their chest or back. It can get pretty heavy at times. But then again a lot of them are well built but still…” “Um, the way to make someone think they are fooling you is…?” “Oh yes. Anyway there is a high school kid who works there. On Thursday evenings for about an hour he’s all by himself, basically just minding the store...