Absolute Random Nonsense

Can someone play the Yakety Sax song as I very quickly run away from a group of people who are chasing me?   

I bought an antique oil lamp a few weeks ago and for the first time today I started rubbing it to see if a genie would come out. Instead of a genie a zebra stepped out of it and started eating my furniture.   

Where can I buy a moderately priced answering machine?   

I'm considering legally adding lil to the beginning of my name.   

Does anyone have any pics of the interior of Sharif University that they have personally taken that they can share? Edit: Never mind. I don't know what I was thinking asking this question here.   

I'm in Walmart. They're playing The Reflex. Isn't that bizarre? It was like finding treasure in the dark.  

 When I was 8 I used to call a fart "giyooz". I sometimes still do.   

When I was still in school I had two roommates. One week one of them (we'll call him Rod) attended a fancy auction in New York where he bid on various high-priced tchotchkes such as a golden snow globe, a pocket watch and a gumball machine. The auction itself was bustling and chaotic while in contrast my roommate was (and is) a vortex of elegance and calm composure. As it turned out his friend actually once owned that snow globe or perhaps one identical to it. He later returned to our stark white apartment, adrift in a sea of melancholia, and sat himself down on the floor. Meanwhile, my other roommate (we'll call him Thomas), in spite of being exhausted and visibly pale, visited a young girl who was having a birthday and helped her blow out the candles on the birthday cake. The birthday girl had an injured leg and left the apartment with Thomas but not before Thomas got hopelessly caught in a revolving door. The girl later tossed aside her crutches and hopped her...

Today I saw this lady walking down the street all curves and thrust and smooth thighs and first class long legs. She was hotter than a rocket on the 4th of July. She wore a red dress.   

At some point Ardi and Kamyar had gotten their hands on a January 4, 1990 edition of the German music magazine Bravo. Although the magazine was in German, we had gone through it many times, trying to translate whatever we could. The section that interested us most was a two-page spread ranking of men and women’s artists. We were familiar with some of the individuals but most of them were unknown to us. For those that we knew amongst the men Michael Jackson and Phil Collins took third and sixth place respectively. Of the women Sandra and Madonna occupied the top two spots with Tina Turner coming in at fifth place and Nena at ninth place. As a result of this top-ten ranking we gradually became familiar with more individuals on the list such as Jason Donovan (first place) and Prince (ninth place) for the men and Kylie Minogue (third place), Paula Abdul (sixth place) and Martika (tenth place) for the women. Kamyar would later comment how he actually had come to hate Prince as...