Absolute Random Nonsense

Anna Eskamani is an Iranian politician who has served as a Democratic member of the Florida House of Representatives since 2018, representing central portions of Orange County. She is the first Iranian elected to the Florida Legislature.  Born and raised in Orlando, she’s the daughter of working-class immigrants who came to Florida from Iran in search of the American Dream. Anna went to Orange County Public Schools and the University of Central Florida. She earned dual degrees as an undergrad and graduate student, works as a nonprofit professional, and completed her PhD in Public Administration from UCF in 2024. “Norooz was a big part of my life growing up,” Eskamani stated in a news release, which included a photograph of her jumping fire last weekend in a celebration back home in Orlando. “As the first Iranian  elected to any public office in Florida, it is my duty to help bridge cultural divides and share our traditions with others. What better way to do that than celeb...

When I was in elementary school I came up with some soccer trick shots in my notebook for which I had drawn diagrams for. One of them was when the ball arrived in the air and you hit in one time as it was about to hit the ground as a pass. The name of this move with the hahi strike. Some questioned me on it but ultimately the explanation was accepted. The name was actually referring to something else and I was able to disguise it by claiming some of the dots on the word written were actually hair of the player I had drawn.  

Mona Zabihian, an Iranian American, attempted to return to Washington state from Canada late Saturday after attending a concert — a trip she said she makes several times a year with no issues. This time was different, Zabihian said, as she and dozens of others were questioned and held for hours. “We went inside, we saw a bunch of other Iranians, pregnant woman, children. I saw one of my friends from Seattle,” she told NBC News. Immigration authorities asked her about her social media accounts and the last time she had been to Iran. “They asked if I was in the military or had anything to do with guns,” she said, adding, “We were there from 11 p.m. to 4 a.m. on Sunday.” Zabihian claimed that one agent said, “You guys are all U.S. citizens, you should not have to go through this.” “He mentioned that this was not a nationwide order. It was only a Washington border order,” she said. Kiara Vaziri, an Iranian American, said she and her family were also traveling back to Washington from Canada...

I have this vague memory of my teenage self in Iran where we were holding someone down and farting in their face. I think I am either confusing that with a Howard Stern bit or with a different incident where someone was trying to annoy me and as such kept screaming in my face and as they stood nose to nose with me with their mouth wide open as they screamed, I suddenly burped and began claiming that they had eaten my burp.  

I am the proud daughter of Iranian Muslim immigrants, and I am an American patriot. Unlike my parents, I was born in the United States, and I grew up here. Like them, however, I was raised in a rich and vibrant Persian community. Yes, right in the middle of the American heartland, my parents raised my sister and me among dozens of other Iranian families. We formed a diaspora born from the ashes of the so-called Islamic Revolution, the Iran-Iraq War — and the American imperialism that helped incite both. Like my parents, many of my adoptive Iranian-American aunties and uncles in Dayton were physicians, products of the brain drain that swept Iran after the revolution and the war. They spent decades living and working in Ohio, where America benefited from the top-notch medical care they provided, and where, in turn, they benefited from the freedoms and opportunities that America provided. Growing up, I remember gleefully heading toward Wright-Patterson Air Force Base on the Fourth of July...

One time as I stood by a river I imagined myself with a yellow shirt. In this vision I pictured myself committing mass murder. I then realized that I actually did have a yellow shirt. As such I decided that I would commit mass murder. Ultimately I didn't follow through with this plan.  

Ryan Bolourchi is an economics student turned clothing and jewelry designer who began creating his designs by drawing inspiration from his Iranian roots.  "I was just out there working on designs all day, just drawing instead of studying," Bolourchi said.  He turned those sketches into Xodafez, a jewelry and clothing line celebrating the culture and history of pre-Islamic Iran.  "What I really like about Iranian history, it's kind of like the patterns on a Persian rug — it's all interconnected," he said. "The mythology and the history, the legends and the truth. And it's kind of one beautiful, but also sad love story of Iranian people's resilience." Bolourchi said that every single design means something special and celebrates the heritage, poetry and Zoroastrianism that spanned over five empires, a far cry from the turmoil that has embroiled his parents' homeland since before he was even born.  "They had armored horses and sold ca...

In either freshman or sophomore year in high school there was a poem in our Persian literature book that Mr. Farrokhi explained its meaning. Looking at it I didn't think it needed any explanation as it was rather self explanatory. The tone was rather angry and I was surprised that such a poem was in our book. The poem read "you are a donkey that farts or a cow that poops." Thinking back I feel that I am remembering the poem wrong.  

Kiyan Sharifian was on Judge Judy. He was sued for borrowing money from his roommate for a scooter. He countersued for his washer and drier, mini fridge and coffee table. He had to pay back $1,035 for the loan. He did not get a judgement for any of his property back.

I had brought a Star Wars binder from the US with me to Iran. On one side it had a picture of two Storm Troopers and the other Han Solo and Chewbacca. The way Chewbacca was leaning forward and holding his gun made it look like his body was sliced in half and his upper body was hovering. I would bring it with me to school in the 4th grade mainly so we could practice drawing the characters. I had it put away until the summer of 9th grade when I went to Samar English classes. I realized I couldn't really use it as it was a 3-hole binder but papers in Iran had 4 holes. So we had to remove the original rings and put in a new one from an old binder. Once I stopped going to my English classes at the end of 10th grade I once again put the binder away. I had one last stretch of usage once I began college. But one day as we were in our chemistry class it slipped out of my hand and fell. Nemat looked at it and said, "If it were me, I would have broken." He was right. The binder fell...

Shahla Karimi is reimagining what commitment rings look like, and designing them for very modern relationships. “I’m your ring designer, therapist and friend,” said Karimi, who moved to New York from Louisville, Ky., in 2004, and created her jewelry brand, Shahla Karimi Jewelry, in 2014. A SoHo showroom followed in 2022. “Rather than sell you a diamond and a setting, I design pieces that reflect a couple’s relationship and emotion,” she said. Karimi, 44, has left a sizable female footprint in New York’s male-dominated diamond industry, and last year, created a self-funded reality series called “Diamond Divas,” 40 one-minute episodes that follow Karimi and the eight women who work in her showroom. They can be viewed on social media platforms like Instagram and YouTube. “I’d never seen a show about women in the diamond industry,” she said, “and what love and relationships look like right now.” This includes rings to celebrate a divorce or to reflect a nonmonogamous relationship — somethi...

Shiva and Roya Marandi were on Judge Judy. They were sued for trashing their friend's house after coming back from a bar. They damaged her sofa, carpet, television and toilet tank lid. Judge Judy ruled against them and they had to pay $3,000.  

One time in Iran our car was making a weird noise so I took it to a mechanic. I told the mechanic about the noise I was hearing and he asked me what kind of noise it was. I told him to come to the car so that I could show him. I almost immediately regretted it as this would have been the perfect opportunity for me to make some weird noises without having my sanity questioned. As it turned out it was the springs.  

When Mike Doustdar started as a summer employee making copies at Novo Nordisk—a teenager living in Austria after fleeing unrest in his home country of Iran at 12—he never imagined he would remain at the company for more than 30 years, let alone lead it as CEO. Doustdar now heads the Danish company that makes the popular diabetes drug Ozempic and weight-loss medication Wegovy, both of which contain the GLP-1 compound semaglutide. In January, Novo Nordisk launched the first GLP-1 pill for weight loss, marking a significant step in making the drugs more convenient and less expensive to take than the injectable forms previously on the market. It’s a critical test.  Doustdar was tapped as CEO last summer in part to restore the company’s presence in the diabetes and obesity space, after ceding ground to competitor Eli Lilly. Lilly’s weight-loss drug Zepbound comes at higher doses and so tends to produce greater weight loss than Wegovy. Novo Nordisk needed a chief executive with resilienc...

One time I was hailing a taxi in New York and this group pulled up in a limo. They called me in and every other word out of their mouths was 'dude'. We ended up going to a bar and we were all sitting around a booth. It was an empty, long bar, and at the end I saw someone with teased-up platinum hair, ivory skin, black nails, jewelry and a little midriff shirt. We were all drawing straws to see who was gonna go up and say hello. Someone else ended up winning and before approaching, poetically said, "Despite the doubt clouding my mind, I fuel the fire of my ambition and kept pushing forward."