Absolute Random Nonsense

Does anyone know where I can buy one of those umbrellas that when you press the button instead of opening up it turns into a live gorilla?

I need a volunteer to allow me for the next 10 days to call them Roxana gherti boogandoo.   

This morning I sexily woke up and secretly got dressed. I seductively made some eggs and diagonally had my breakfast. I then tragically went shopping and quickly bought some groceries. I then crouchingly came home and mysteriously watched some TV. I then poetically went swimming and savagely suntanned a bit. I then eagerly came home, alarmingly turned my computer on, heroically logged onto blogger and potentially typed up this post.   

I hate it when you buy a seedless watermelon, and it's just a rock painted green.   

I've been thinking of recording a song called "Everybody Ramin Sadr tonight".

Will someone please smile at me like Jesus to a child?   

I would like to start a nightly webcast where each night I have a different guest. We will dress up as a different superhero every night and dance seductively as we give the day's news highlights.   

Am I a box?  

My first exposure to Duran Duran was in November of 1988 when I saw their name written on the wall of a prison cell although it was misspelled as Durn Durn.

The only thing better than an Iranian girl is an Iranian girl who went to Sharif University.