Absolute Random Nonsense

Hooman Ashkan Panah clutched prayer beads, shook his head and kissed a copy of the Koran as a jury found him guilty Monday of first-degree murder in the sex-slaying last year of second-grader Nicole Parker. Then, in a strong, clear voice, the 23-year-old Panah unexpectedly expressed his displeasure to the jury: “There goes another innocent man down.” The Van Nuys Superior Court jury found Panah guilty of first-degree murder with special circumstances that make him eligible for the death penalty. The seven-man, five-woman jury found Panah had killed Nicole while sodomizing her and performing lewd acts with the child, whose body was found in his bedroom closet in Woodland Hills on Nov. 21, 1993. After the verdicts were read, tears rolled down Lori Parker’s cheeks. Later, Nicole’s mother told reporters: “I hate him. He took the life of the most precious little girl anybody could have,” she said. “How dare he? She couldn’t fight back. I hate him.” Outside the courtroom, Panah’s mother, Meh...

یک برنامه عروسکی بود توی ایران بنام قصه های جنگل که توی اون یک میمون قصه تعریف میکرد و بقیه حیوانات قصه را اجرا میکردند. این میمونه یک دستش به بته های جلویش وصل بود و دست دیگرش آزادانه حرکت میکرد. یک بار که داشت با آب و تاب قصه میگفت و دستش را این ور اون ور میکرد اشتباهی (یا شاید هم عمدی) انگشتش رفت توی دماغش   .

I remember around 1980ish there was a song called "My Cat's Footprint" that we sometimes listened to when going to school. It was horrible and sounded like an 8 year old had made it up.   

A former football referee has said each team has at least three gay players. Well-known referee Babak Rafati said gay and bi players stay in the closet and pretend to have girlfriends. “Yes, I know gay footballers and referees in the [German premier league] Bundesliga,” he said. “There are three to four gay players in every team.” Rafati said gay players are forced to display affection with women for appearances “but in reality, they don’t really fancy the lady”. Rafati said there is hope for a professional player to come out and remain in the sport, and suggested a group of gay players could come out together in solidarity as a first step. “If two per club and three from the national team were to stand there, together during a press conference, then you’d make an impact,” he said. A few openly gay German footballers have made headlines in the past, mostly limited to regional leagues.

This tale is about the first time I took a shit in my girlfriend's house. I was a freshman in college. This took place during Spring Break, and I was hanging out at her's and her mom's house on the last day. We've dated since last February, but I refuse to shit in front of her. The reason? I take massive shits. Like, large paper towel tube sized, painful shits. I could clog an airplane toilet if I wanted to. We're hanging out in her room, watching TV, and I feel it. I feel that familiar pain in my smaller intestines. "Run" says my mind. I run into their shared bathroom, drop my pants, and lay the biggest turd I've ever had to push out of myself. It hit the water so hard, so densely, that water shot out of the toilet and went on the floor in front of the toilet. My girlfriend knocks asking if I'm okay. It had been 25 minutes. I tell her I'm fine, just go back. She doesn't ask anymore- she's heard stories of my chocolate tre...

The most unexpected Duran Duran song that I saw performed live and that I didn't first recognize was on August 13, 1999 at Foxwoods Casino. The opening keys sounded familiar and yet I couldn't identify it but I knew that with every passing second it would become more familiar. Finally when Nick went into second gear on his keyboard, and just before Simon started singing I realized that it was "Friends of Mine". The most unexpected Duran Duran song that I saw performed live and that I recognized right off the bat was on April 3, 2005 at Mohegan Sun Casino. The opening notes were all I needed to be pleasantly surprised by "Hold Back the Rain". During the performance Simon changed the line "I probably didn't even say that right and I really don't gave a damn" to "I probably didn't even say that right and I really don't gave a fuck".  

After a two-week trial at Preston Crown Court, Amanj Hasan Zada, the 34-year-old Iranian national of Stefano Road, Preston, was convicted on three counts of facilitating illegal immigration. The 34-year-old organised three separate crossings from France to the UK in November and December 2023, but NCA investigators believe he was involved in many more. Each of the identified crossings involved Kurdish migrants who had travelled through eastern Europe, into Germany, Belgium and then France. The defendant advertised his business on social media under the name Amanj Zaman and featured videos of thankful migrants who paid for his services.  

In the mid 80s, and later early 2000s, some people thought that one and one make five.  

Zoya Biglary was on shark tank. She got a deal.  

I think I was in 8th grade and everyone else was home. It was only our school that was open and there was hardly anyone there. Anyways we all started to have snowball fights until we were tired and decided to go home but then the bus wasn't working or something because of the snow. So we had to walk home which was really really far (1 hour of walking or more). Anyways there were people with cars passing and we decided to start throwing snow at the cars going past us. We were in a street and it was quiet because of the snow. So we threw snow balls at cars and one guy in the car got out and ran after us. We all screamed and ran back to school but by now it was icy so we kept on dropping because of the ice. We were scared and were screaming and I think one of my friends cried because he was so scared and so we were laughing at the same time. Then we realized that someone else was laughing and it turned out that it was the guy from the car laughing at us. He didn't want to s...