Absolute Random Nonsense

وقتی برای دوستانم کارت دعوت عروسیم را فرستادم یکیشون به من ایمیل زد و گفت بابت عروسیت به خودت تبریک و به خانمت برای این انتخاب وحشتناکش تسلیت میگم  

After more than three decades, a sewing shop in the East Village is searching for a new home. For almost 34 years, Rosa Malmed and Hossein Amid have helped customers look their best from their humble mom-and-pop shop, Gizmo. The shop, which sits on First Avenue, sells every kind of sewing supply. Amid, who also fixes machines, was voted 'Best Sewing Mechanic' in 2015. Both from Iran, this was their American dream. "When they see the machine run, they get happy," said Amid. "I get happy." The owners had plans to sign a new lease Monday, but they found out it was no longer going to be extended and they must now move out by Thursday. "I'm speechless," said Malmed. "Everyday, they come in, 'Did you find a place?, We don't want to lose you. We love you guys.'" They have served both established and aspiring designers, as many FIT students come to the shop looking for just the right piece. Perhaps the busiest part of the ...

A Texas medical student well-known in her community as an Iranian activist was mysteriously shot and killed in her car, just yards from her home. Gelareh Bagherzadeh, 30, was driving through her Houston townhouse complex around midnight on Monday when she was shot dead through her car window. "When officers arrived, they found a vehicle had run into a garage door at that location with the engine running and tires spinning on the pavement. Ms. Bagherzadeh was found slumped over in the driver's seat," the Houston Police Department said in a statement. Authorities said nothing appeared to have been stolen from her car. Her cell phone and purse were found inside. "Homicide investigators responded to the scene and were told by witnesses that several gunshots were heard, a crash and then tires squealing," the statement said. Police told ABC News' Houston affiliate KTRK that the last person to speak to Bagherzadeh was her close friend and ex-boy...

آیا تا حالا کسی با کسی رفته مثل راما لاما لاما کا دینگا دا دینگا دانگ و برای همیشه به یاد بمانید مثل شو باپ شا وادا وادا ییپپیتی بوم ده بوم؟  

A Georgia lawyer has been charged with murder in an alleged road rage incident that left a prominent real estate investor dead. Bryan Keith Schmitt, 48, was also indicted on Aug. 23 on felony murder and aggravated assault charges in the Aug. 1 death of 60-year-old Hamid Jahangard. Prosecutors allege that Schmitt purposely swerved his 2011 Mercedes CLS550 into Jahangard and struck the father of two, who died three days later of blunt force injuries to the head. The fatal encounter allegedly occurred after Jahangard accidentally hit Schmitt’s Mercedes with a golf ball, prosecutors said. According to a police report obtained by PEOPLE, Schmitt claimed he accidentally struck Jahangard in the driveway of his Sandy Springs rental property after Schmitt swerved to avoid a trash can. An investigation into the incident began on July 30 after Sandy Springs police received a 911 call at 6:16 p.m. regarding “a male struck by a vehicle.” When police arrived, Jahangard was “bleed...

یک بار با مامانم تلفنی حرف میزدم و مامانم میگفت بعضی ها از ایران که می آیند اصلا کم رویی یا رو درواسی نمیکنند و هر چی میخواهند خیلی رک و راست می گویند. پرسیدم چطور، مگه چی شده؟ گفت با یکی از دوستانمون که تازه از ایران اومده بود رفته بودند بیرون و سر ظهر رفتند که ساندویچ بگیرند. اول مامانم سفارش داد و گفت من ساندویچ ترکی (یعنی بوقلمون) می خواهم. طرف هم گفت من هم ترکی می خواهم. من گفتم خوب چه اشکالی داره اون هم می خواست. مامانم میگفت آخه بعضی ها رودرواسی میکنند و جلوی دیگران بخصوص یک ایرونی دیگه نمی گویند من هم ترکی میخواهند. من گفتم خوب شاید اون هم خیلی ترکی دوست داره و برای همین این را سفارش داد. مامانم گفت نه بابا متوجه نمیشی، من گفتم من ترکی می خواهم، اون گفت من هم ترکی میخواهم. من گفتم یعنی بهت بر خورده که چون تو ترکی می خواستی اون هم همین را میخواست. مامانم گفت اه اصلا نمی فهمی، من گفتم من ترکی می خواهم، اون گفت من هم ترکی میخواهم. من گفتم خوب چون تو ترکی می خواستی کس دیگری اجازه نداره ترکی سفارش بده؟ مامانم گفت اینقدر برای من ادا در نیار، من گفتم من هم ترکی می خواهم...

Whenever anyone asks me what my background is I am quick to say that I am Iranian. Usually people will smile and nod, but sometimes you get that person that gives you "the look". The look of judgement and distaste because they think that every person from a Middle Eastern country is a threat, and that is where they are SO wrong. Iran is a beautiful place. It is where my parents grew up until they immigrated to America in their late teens. The stories I have heard of this place were all filled with happy and fond memories that my parents will forever cherish. It wasn't until I went to school that I heard bad things about the country that I had grown to love through my parents and grandparents recollections. My parents have always instilled a very good sense of my culture in me. I learned to speak Farsi fluently in order to communicate with my relatives who live in Iran and my grandparents who live close to me, and to be able to secretly tell my mom that the...

ای مرد شکم گنده - به نقل از یک طوطی در کتاب تن تن گوش شکسته  

It seems like Amy Grant's 1994 song "Lucky One" has copied parts from Jane Wiedlin's 1990 song "99 Ways".

حدود ۹ سالم که بود با یکی از دوست هایم که با هم مدرسه هم می رفتیم و اسمش علیرضا بود بازی می کردم و اون اومده بود خونه ما. توی حیاط بودیم و یکی یک بار گلی را به من نشون داده بود و گفته بود این گل نسترن است. من به اون گل اشاره کردم و گفتم این نسترن است. اون متوجه نشد منظورم چیه و پرسید چی نسترنه؟ من هم که کرمم گرفته بود گفتم این آدمه که لای چمنها داره میدوه. اون کمی بیشتر در باره نسترن سوال کرد و من شروع کردم از خودم چرت و پرت در آوردن که نسترن یک شخصیت تخیلی و قهرمان است و خیلی قوی و سریع است (حدوداً مشخصات مایتی موس را داشتم میدادم) و گفتم این یک برنامه تلوزیونی زمان شاه بود و برایش یک آهنگ هم الکی در آوردم که آخرش بود هیچ کس از نسترن بهتر نیست، حتی پلیس که نه ردیف داشت و نه قافیه. علیرضا از من پرسید آخه این اگر اینقدر کوچیک هست که یکی رویش پا بگذارد که له میشه و میمیره. من گفتم نه ببین این خیلی سریع است واگر کسی بخواهد روی اون پا بگذارد فرار میکنه و وقتی شروع کنه به دویدن برای اینکه تند تر بدود یک دستش را به کمرش میگیره و با دست دیگرش هی میکوبه در کونش و بلند بلند می...

I pretty much drove our car everywhere even if just for the sake of driving. With my driver’s license in my pocket I actually welcomed the opportunity to get stopped and asked for my license although it never seemed to materialize. One day I was driving down Pesian Street in an area with a number of shops. Apparently the businesses had attracted quite a number of cars parked on either side of that stretch of the street, making it a bit narrow for cars passing through. As I approached, a car coming in the opposite direction flashed its lights at me, indicating it wanted to go through first. I hit my brakes and stopped the car. The other driver inched forward but ultimately realized that I was already too close for him to be able to squeeze out at the other end of the narrowed section. He stuck his head out of the window and yelled at me, “Didn’t I flash my lights at you?” “You did and as soon as you did I stopped my car.” “Well I can’t get through.” “What do you want...

هر کی گفت این مال چی بود؟ شاین. قایچ. آین  

"A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night" Tweetable Logline: The first Iranian Vampire Western Elevator Pitch: A very modern Iranian film and the first Iranian Vampire Western... set in a ghost-town called Bad City, a place that reeks of death and loneliness, and the townspeople are a jaded and strange population including a Vampire, a Prostitute, a Pimp, a Drug Addict, a Mean Little boy, a 57 Tbird and the Persian James Dean... amidst the hopelessness, an unlikely love story quietly blooms... and it blooms blood red. Production Team: Writer/Director: Ana Lily Amirpour Producers: Sina Sayyah, Justin Begnaud About the Production: "A GIRL WALKS HOME ALONE AT NIGHT is Ana Lily Amirpour's debut feature film. She's an Iranian-American filmmaker whose parents left Iran in the 70's. This is a story that incorporates her love of the weirdness of David Lynch, the Vampire genre, Sergio Leone westerns, and her Iranian-American background into one cul...

سال 1370 وقتی فیلم عروس را توی سینما دیدم به هم کلاسیهایم میگفتم دختری که نقش عروس را بازی میکنه شکل گیتاست و اونها هم میگفتند گیتا خیلی دلش بخواهد این شکلی باشه. امشب تازه فهمیدم اون هنرپیشه نیکی کریمی بود.  

It’s a men's-only club in the tangle of auto repair shops on the traffic-clogged streets of Iran’s capital, Tehran. Among them, workers toil in dim garages, welding and wrenching, fabricating and painting. That’s until Maryam Roohani, 34, pops up from under a car’s hood at a maintenance shop in northeastern Tehran, her dirt- and grease-stained uniform pulled over black jeans and long hair tucked into a baseball cap — which in her work, replaces Iran’s compulsory Islamic headscarf for women, or hijab. Buffing a blue BMW sedan in the shop until it shines, she couldn’t be farther from the farms of her childhood. In the rural, tribal village of Agh Mazar near Iran’s northeastern border with Turkmenistan, girls get married after hitting puberty and devote their lives to raising children. “I have sort of broken taboos,” Roohani said at the garage, where she carefully coats cars with attention-getting gleams and scrapes sludge from their engines. “I faced opposition when...

یک آهنگ رپ بود که توی مدرسه بچه ها میخوندند.همش یادم نیست اما هر چی جلوتر می رفتی بدترمیشد از نظر حرف های کاف دار. یک بار اتفاقا یک جا مهمونی بودیم و برق ها رفته بود و دیگه بجای ضبط هر کی یک دهان می خوند. به دوستم گفتم مایکل و مدونا را بخون. گفت نه نمیشه تیکه های بد داره. گفتم خوب تیکه های بدش را نخون. گفت پس هیچی اش را نباید بخونم اده مایکل و مدونا و برک دنس اده سندرا و سامانتا و فلاش دنس اده کیم قیف بستنی آلاسکا اده نیسان پاترول تویوتا اده کوه به کوه اده اپسی کوه اده عمت بردم پشت کوه ب ب ب ب به تو هر چی میگم که اثر نداره کیر از تو کون من که خبر نداره اده کیرمو بگیرو اینو بذا لات اده این پاتو اون پاتو هر دوتا پات ف ف ف ف فرامرز شورتتو به من میدی قرض نه نه نه نه نمیدم منتظر حمیدم دیگه نمیام خونتون کس خار همتون سرلاک بده بچت کوفت کنه مال منو میبینه سنگکوب کنه تو که صبح میری ظهر میدی شب میای حالا صبح برو ظهر بده شب نیا وقتی رفتی به قربت این بود کون قلمبت

During the six-hour drive from New York City to a tiny town in northern Vermont, Iranian student Shirin Estahbanati cried at the thought of seeing her father for the first time in nearly three years. Since then, he had suffered a heart attack, and she hadn’t dared leave America to comfort him. But as she traveled north, she also couldn’t stop worrying. What if she missed the turnoff and drove across the U.S.-Canadian border by mistake? Estahbanati, like many Iranian students in the United States, has a single-entry visa and can’t leave the country without risking that she won’t be allowed back in. And her parents, as Iranian citizens, are blocked by U.S. President Donald Trump’s travel ban from visiting her in the United States. She didn’t want to miss her destination: the Haskell Free Library and Opera House. Estahbanati and her family had agreed to meet around 9 a.m. at the library, which through a historic anomaly straddles the U.S.-Canada border – and today has b...

همیشه همه جا قصه های ایرانی تو خونه با شما قصه های ایرانی قصه های خوب ایرانی برای بچه های خوب و مامانی  

John Cena is ready to make things official and debuted his new relationship just in time for the release of his new movie. The WWE Superstar was seen Saturday in NYC at the premiere of "Playing With Fire." Cena walked the red carpet at the AMC Lincoln Square Theater, along with his girlfriend Shay Shariatzadeh. There have been rumors the two were hooking up back in April, after Cena officially called it quits with former fiancée Nikki Bella. Shay was first spotted in Vancouver with the 42-year-old wrestling star walking arm-in-arm while he was actually in town shooting "Playing With Fire." The 29-year-old beauty is a product manager for Vancouver-based Motorola Solutions tech company, Avigilon. In her position, Shay oversees everything from strategy to product launch and even stars in some product videos on YouTube. Shay is the first relationship for Cena since his 6-year rocky relationship with Bella finally ended. Since the breakup, the "To...

مگه نه آقای خاکدوست؟ آقای خاکدوست؟ آقای خاکدوست؟ چی شد؟ چی شد؟ دستگیر شدیم؟        

One of the world's most prestigious wildlife photography awards has announced its winner – and it's equal parts mesmerizing and adorable. The winner of the Natural History Museum of London's Wildlife Photographer of the Year award is Nima Sarikhani, for his captivating image of a polar bear sleeping on sea ice. The photograph, called "Ice Bed," was captured in Norway's Svalbard archipelago, the museum says in its description of the photo . According to a news release , Sarikhani had spent three days looking for polar bears while aboard an exploration vessel in the area, but had been having no luck as they were immersed in a "thick fog." But then, as the ship came across some sea ice, he saw it – two polar bears. Those on board the ship tracked them for eight hours. And just before midnight, the moment that resonated with people worldwide finally happened. "Under the light of the midnight sun, the bear used its powerful arms to claw ou...

سلام آقای خنده دار سلام آقای عوضی  

Congratulations are in order for Flea and Melody Ehsani! The Red Hot Chili Peppers’ bassist, 57, and fashion designer revealed on their respective Instagrams on Tuesday that they had officially tied the knot over the weekend. Flea, whose real name is Michael Balzary, announced the happy news with a photo from his wedding, showing the pair in their stunning wedding attire, sitting side-by-side on a bench and looking off into the distance. “My life has changed forever and I am eternally humble and grateful,” he captioned the shot. “The person who sees all of me and knows who I am. My wife @melodyehsani ❤️❤️❤️.” Ehsani, 39, also celebrated the occasion with a rare post of her new husband on Instagram, which gave fans another view at her gorgeous wedding gown and Flea’s unique tuxedo and footwear. “This weekend I got to marry my best friend,” she captioned the photo of the couple standing arm-in-arm in front of a brick building. “Surely, my best collaboration to date ...

اول که اکبر عبدی به طرف مدرسه داره میدوه بلوزش صورتیه. وسط راه بلوزش سبز میشه.  

The 23-year-old man attacked nearly a dozen women in the city of Uppsala between January and February, wearing a surgical mask as a disguise, with many of the women reporting that the encounters left them feeling vulnerable and afraid to walk the streets alone. Said Rendi, an Iranian national who sexually assaulted 11 women in a series of attacks this past winter, has received a suspended sentence, 60 hours of community service, and been requested to pay fines to the victims, with the court rejecting the prosecutor's request to deport him, Nyheter Idag has reported. Rendi is said to have carried out the attacks between January 28 and February 11, with the assaults ranging from grabbing women by their buttocks or genitalia, to two incidents which Prosecutor Pontus Melander said should have been classified as attempted rape. The man committed the crimes while using a car which belonged to the Uppsala municipal government, which he was provided to take care of a youn...

کسی میدونه در روز ۱۳ مرداد ساعت ۲:۴۵ چه اتفاقی افتاد؟  

A professor at Ball State University who called police on a black student will not return to teach for the rest of the semester. Shaheen Borna, a Ball State marketing professor who joined faculty in 1983, came under fire in January after he called police on college senior Sultan "Mufasa" Benson for refusing to change seats during class. "Dr. Borna will not be teaching classes for the remainder of the semester," Kathy Wolf, a spokeswoman for Ball State, said in a statement to Insider. "This decision is in the best interest of Dr. Borna and the University," According to the Ball State Daily News, On Jan. 21 Benson was directed to sit in an open seat rather than his typical spot in Borna's marketing class. During class a student sitting near the front of the room left, so Borna requested Benson move to that seat. Benson refused because he was charging his laptop, so Borna gave him the ultimatum to move seats or leave class. When he refu...

امشب برای شام میشل استروگف درست کردم  

Mohammad Mohyeddin was a little out of breath when we sat down on his living room couch to talk on a recent evening in north Toronto. He had a pretty good excuse though. Mohyeddin was fresh off of his third walk of the day. He’s also 110 years old. Mohyeddin was introduced to me as the oldest man in Canada. That may or may not be true. In any case, he offered this caveat when I asked him to share some stories from the old days. “I have forgotten many things. I have forgotten language[s], English, French, Turkey [sic],” Mohyeddin said. One of his daughters added Arabic to the list. In February, my colleague Marco Werman and I did some reporting in Iran. And to follow up, I wanted to visit Toronto, which has a sizable population of Iranian expats — about 100,000 people who’ve arrived in waves going back even before the 1979 Islamic Revolution. I spent about a week in the Toronto area talking with Iranian expats about their connections to their homeland and their thou...