Absolute Random Nonsense

The other day I went to this exhibition where they had all kinds of mechanical devices and I spotted this female cyborg. I knew when I first saw her on the showroom floor that she was made for me. I took her home and dressed her up in polyester. Although she was emotionless and cold as ice, she was all of the things I like: The way she looked, the way she moved, the sounds she was making in ultra-chrome, latex and steel. I plugged her in and dimmed the lights. I tried to resist her perfect skin and plastic kiss. When we touched I felt hallucinated and tranquilized. I understood from that point forward my private life would be subject to investigation once people heard about our deviation. But she never looked so good after wearing the fake fur and fake pearls for me.

Last night I had the weirdest dream. I was in this weird place like some kind of factory or something that was littered with banana peels. I apparently was being chased by something and was just aimlessly running down the corridors of this place. Some places were hard to maneuver as there were narrow bridges with no guard rails and I risked falling down. There were all kinds of robotic devices moving about that I was avoiding in case they would cause me harm. There were also things like bombs and missiles randomly scattered around. Every so often when I felt my attacker was about to catch me I would spot some kind of spring that I would jump on and it would launch me into the air. At times I would see other figures in my way and not knowing if they were friendly or just trying to catch me I would either run past them or spear them out of my way.

Are you planning on taking your car to a mechanic? I once did that and my car came alive and attacked me. We later made up and danced together.

Today I danced like no one was watching. But some people were watching and they laughed at me so I killed them all and continued dancing.  

I have a problem they said they can solve. Soon I won’t speak.  

How does a Hispanic person pronounce the name Jill?

I wanted to know what it is like to be shouting in the evening. So one day I went outside and began shouting in the evening. It was cool.  

Would it be wrong to force an octopus to wear long johns?  

Does anyone know where I can find old episodes of the show My Black Son? I'm specifically interested in the episode where they find out he is a ninja.  

What in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue?