Absolute Random Nonsense

“I’m trying to be worth a billion dollars by the time I’m 25,” teenage basketball star Mikey Williams told the “I am Athlete” podcast just over a year ago. Williams was arrested on April 13 in the wake of a late-night incident two weeks earlier at the $1.2 million hilltop home he owns east of San Diego. Angry that visitors unexpectedly showed up to his house, Williams allegedly threatened to shoot them. Then he allegedly fired a handgun at their vehicle as they drove away, damaging the trunk and rear windshield but leaving all six occupants unharmed. Arash Hashemi is a Los Angeles criminal defense attorney who has closely followed media coverage of Williams’ case and the pretrial hearings. He describes the witness testimony and other circumstantial evidence against Williams as “very strong,” so strong that there is a real chance the 19-year-old does significant time.  

Does anyone know where I can get an invisible tan? I don't want it to show it all.

One time when I was around 9 I got mad at something and went in the backyard and started screaming. I was later told what I did wasn't a good thing and when I asked for an explanation why I was told if it were a good thing everyone would go in their backyard and start screaming.

Rabbi Gutman, I am a 30 year old Persian-Jew. I come from a conservative Jewish family. I go to temple almost every Shabbat. I keep ***her with regards to meat and chicken. I am very close with my family. Four months ago I met a secular Muslim Persian girl, a year older than me. When I say secular, she actually celebrates Christmas and doesn't celebrate any Muslim holidays. Please keep in mind I am very Zionist. Anyways, I am ashamed to admit this but I have had relations with her. I know I'm a Zionist, I am a proud Jew, I keep kosher, I go to temple all the time, I celebrate all the Jewish holidays...but Rabbi, I am in love with her, and it kills me. I have never clicked with anyone so much. I know I can't be with her, and I've told her that. I told her marriage is impossible. She wants to convert but I told her no, because my parents would kill me, and because I don’t want to be with someone who converts to Judaism for me, but I want to...

I just accidentally gave myself a crew cut.   

The only thing worse than having the flu is having the flu and Windows 8.   

Mrs. Smith's birthday was right around the corner but with Mr. Smith losing his job money was tight. Everyone wanted to buy a perfect gift for her but with her being the only breadwinner they couldn't ask her for money to buy her own present. The family debated what to do and finally arrived at a solution. On the morning of her birthday, everyone gathered around her bed as she woke up. They passed a shoebox forward that was decorated with drawings and flashy colors. Mrs. Smith opened the shoebox and peered inside. Multiple strips of paper were there and one by one she picked them up and began reading them. "When times are good and when they’re bad, you’re the best wife I could ever have. From our first date, I knew that I was going to spend the rest of my life with you. Glad to know I was right. When you blow out your candles and make wishes, I hope that they all come true. Happy birthday, sweetheart. -John" "Mothers are the greatest gift that anyo...

At 12:00 PM on Saturday, October 28, 2023, in honor of Cyrus the Great Day, you are invited to our unveiling of a monumental statue of Cyrus the Great at the Millennium Gate dedicated to liberty, justice and peace. Cyrus the Great, founder of the Achaemenid empire, upon liberating Babylon, freed the slaves, established racial equality and rights for women, declared that all people had the right to choose their own religion and returned their various gods to their shrines. He also helped the Jews build The Second Temple. According to the Book of Isaiah, Cyrus was anointed by God as a messiah for these actions, the only non-Jewish figure to be revered in this capacity. Iranian and Jewish peoples share an ancient bond of friendship that modern Islamic fanaticism has tried (and failed) to destroy. Remembering the past is a powerful perspective for shaping the future; one where diverse peoples and cultures live together in freedom and harmony.  Cyrus the Great’s decrees...

Sometimes when I look back at my life I wonder how am I not dead.   

Has anyone ever witnessed someone in Isfahan pulling out a long strand of hair from their soda bottle after taking a few gulps of it?