Absolute Random Nonsense

Does anyone know what the zactly disease is?   

Who do you think would win in a mud wrestling match between Seymour Skinner and Joe Swanson?   

At Sharif University you could dine at the cafeteria if you had the cafeteria coupon. And even you didn't, there would always be other students standing outside the cafeteria, waiving their meal coupons and trying to sell them, much like it was done for all other coupons in any given place in Iran back in the day.   

Would it be wrong for a guy to wear short shorts as he pops Advil pills and screams?   

Where can I apply to become an elbow model?   

In the 10th grade our English teacher Mr. Taheri pronounced Hinduism as Hendyousiyom.   

Thank God we have been saved with the discovery of this restaurant in Patterson, NJ. I felt so bad each time I ate haram Chinese food.

I was 17 and I got a date with this hot chick who was 19 and I was so nervous and had butterflies in my stomach. My idiot ass ate some chili burgers right before I went to pick her up. Then when I saw her I got nervous again Because she looked better than ever and she was older. So 2 minutes into my driving I felt it coming, OH NOOOO I'm about to throw up. So I tried to hold it in and wasn't saying anything, then it came into my mouth, I was OOH OOH, and she was like whats wrong with you, are you ok? I didn't say anything because my mouth was full. I quickly pulled over, opened the door and bllaaaaaaaaa, threw up outside the car.    Luckily she was nice and didn't care, we ended up having a good date   

امروز اول مهره. کی اینو یادش میاد؟ آغاز سال نو، با شادی و سرور هم دوش و هم زبان، حرکت به سوی نور آغاز مدرسه، فصل شکفتن است در زنگ مدرسه، بیداری من است در دل دارم امید، بر لب دارم پیام هم شاگردی سلام، هم شاگردی سلام مهر از افق دمید، فصلی دگر رسید فصل کلاس و درس، ما را دهد نوید شد فصل کسب علم، فصل تلاش و کار دانش به نسل ما، می*بخشد اعتبار در دل دارم امید، بر لب دارم پیام هم شاگردی سلام، هم شاگردی سلام ای در کنار ما، آموزگار ما چون شمع روشنی، در روزگار ما روشن ز نور توست، کاشانه دلم در زندگی تویی، حلال مشکلم در دل دارم امید، بر لب دارم پیام هم شاگردی سلام، هم شاگردی سلام فردا از آن توست، ای نسل چاره ساز با یاری خدا، آینده را بساز ای عاشق بهار، ای با سپیده یار بذر عمل بکار، وابستگی سر آر در دل دارم امید، بر لب دارم پیام هم شاگردی سلام، هم شاگردی سلام  

How many of us grew up in Iran during our teenage years and thought we were so cool because we knew the English word vulva?